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Straight off, watch the mic peaking. You need to try to adjust you mic sensitivity or maybe scoot back a bit. You will sound much clearer.
It may also help you if you have something specific that you want to talk about to write out notes or an overview ahead of time of what you want to talk about. That can help keep you on track. Also keep in mind that longer isn't always better. People tend to have shorter attention spans, and sometimes quicker videos that show case something specific will keep people from getting bored and keep them coming back.
wait is that rome: total war? How do you "spread" your units?
What I like is how the game sound quality is pretty good. A lot of LP/commentary vids for games have game sound recorded with the mic rather than via speakers with the voice recorded via mic.