Author Topic: [NOVEL] Phantom Sanctuary: Sins of the Savior  (Read 31899 times)

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Offline Raylin

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Re: [NOVEL] Phantom Sanctuary: Sins of the Savior
« Reply #45 on: April 30, 2010, 12:11:21 am »
Pictures?

What do you suggest?
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Offline Geekboy1011

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Re: [NOVEL] Phantom Sanctuary: Sins of the Savior
« Reply #46 on: May 06, 2010, 11:38:22 pm »
hmm i think i have a good idea for a cover but could you pm me a description of what the sanctuary place looks like so i dont mess it up :P
(kinda hard to make a cover design only knowing chapter one XD)

Offline Raylin

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Re: [NOVEL] Phantom Sanctuary: Sins of the Savior
« Reply #47 on: May 07, 2010, 01:55:01 pm »
Quote from: Chapter 7
The entire building was like some sort of massive cathedral. There were pillars of pure alabaster stone all around, statues of goddesses in various poses, benches, and a beautiful stained-glass window that had another goddess on it that also was native to Christian. The floor was covered in white sand and held a beautiful marble fountain in the center of the room. There were also two sets of marble stairs that curved around another doorway and connected wall to wall. An old chandelier and wall lanterns filled the room with an ambient amber light and made the entire place feel sacred.
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Offline Geekboy1011

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Re: [NOVEL] Phantom Sanctuary: Sins of the Savior
« Reply #48 on: May 07, 2010, 06:43:21 pm »
alright thats perfect for what i needed ill see what i can do oh do you bye chance know the dimensions of the book or should i just go generic for now????

oh and im handdrawing it cause i suck with photoshop/gimp still

Offline Raylin

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Re: [NOVEL] Phantom Sanctuary: Sins of the Savior
« Reply #49 on: May 14, 2010, 10:58:58 pm »
Chapter 2 up.
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Offline DJ Omnimaga

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Re: [NOVEL] Phantom Sanctuary: Sins of the Savior
« Reply #50 on: May 14, 2010, 11:06:59 pm »
I'll need to restart reading this at one point, when my mind is clean enough to concentrate reading

Offline Raylin

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Re: [NOVEL] Phantom Sanctuary: Sins of the Savior
« Reply #51 on: May 14, 2010, 11:11:36 pm »
LOL, DJ.

Phantom Sanctuary wants YOU to read it.
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Offline DJ Omnimaga

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Re: [NOVEL] Phantom Sanctuary: Sins of the Savior
« Reply #52 on: May 14, 2010, 11:19:41 pm »
well the issue is that as non english native person, reading a book in english requires me much more concentration than an english people, and since I have reading comprehension issues, it won't help either. ANd recen events (real life) causes me to have an harder time at concentrating x.x

Offline Raylin

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Re: [NOVEL] Phantom Sanctuary: Sins of the Savior
« Reply #53 on: May 14, 2010, 11:35:04 pm »
I understand.

Perhaps when it is finished, I'll translate it into another language.
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Offline Geekboy1011

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Re: [NOVEL] Phantom Sanctuary: Sins of the Savior
« Reply #54 on: May 15, 2010, 01:15:42 am »
ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg going to read
* Geekboy1011 marches of like he is being controlled by somthing

...flip.....flip......flip....

ggggg sweet XD

Offline Raylin

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Re: [NOVEL] Phantom Sanctuary: Sins of the Savior
« Reply #55 on: May 15, 2010, 09:12:40 am »
Any comments/critique?
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Offline Geekboy1011

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Re: [NOVEL] Phantom Sanctuary: Sins of the Savior
« Reply #56 on: May 15, 2010, 12:37:45 pm »
well its definetily a shorter chapter than the last one ^^
and after not having read the first chapter in a while i got confused cause you had jumped to the boys perspective

so my only critique this time is you jumped right into a large chunk of new plot with out much of a leadin idk how i would lead it in but other than that i think its good its descriptive enough and doesnt confuse me like a lot of other things i have read

the only other thing is change it from officer 1212 :P the use of 12 3 times in the chapter juset seems a bit odd to me 

may i suggest 13-37 :P (j/k)

Offline Raylin

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Re: [NOVEL] Phantom Sanctuary: Sins of the Savior
« Reply #57 on: May 15, 2010, 12:46:40 pm »
In regards to that, if you remember in the first chapter, Christian got knocked unconscious.
He woke up the next morning
Spoiler For Chapter 1:
after Harmony got dragged off by Magnus.

So, the next morning is all he remembers right now.
« Last Edit: May 15, 2010, 12:47:14 pm by Raylin »
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Offline Geekboy1011

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Re: [NOVEL] Phantom Sanctuary: Sins of the Savior
« Reply #58 on: May 15, 2010, 01:38:39 pm »
oh ya that makes more sense now XD

anyway still epic :P

Offline Raylin

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Re: [NOVEL] Phantom Sanctuary: Sins of the Savior
« Reply #59 on: May 15, 2010, 05:40:06 pm »
Oh!
Before I forget, I'm going to throw this out there.

The Chapters I upload here ARE NOT THE FINISHED PRODUCTS!
Think of them as an advance reader's copy.

I still have to grammar check and trim the things.
Bug me about my book.

Sarah: TI-83 Plus Silver Edition [OS 1.19]
Cassie: TI-86 [OS 1.XX]
Elizabeth: TI-81 [OS 1.XX]
Jehuty: TI-83 Plus Silver Edition [OS 1.19]
Tesla: CASIO Prizm