Hmmm.. .swf files don't seem to work on my iPod... Oh well.

DJ, I leave for one week and this is what happens seriously though, a long time ago i saw this from the outside, and thought the same thing many of the haters think today.  But when you get on the inside and learn the full story, you realize how courageous and amazing you really are.  Do what you have to, get some R&R, and take your life where it needs to go.

If I could remember how to embed it, I would, Sir. But don't give it away!

[youtube][/youtube]But then it won't auto-play (only admins can do that, since they can use HTML. HTML is disabled for regular members for security reasons)

When a post is rated -8 or something like that, the entire post area changes from the normal light blue color to a dark one. I disabled that but for some reasons it still happens anyway

When a post is rated -8 or something like that, the entire post area changes from the normal light blue color to a dark one. I disabled that but for some reasons it still happens anyway

Ah ok, gotcha.

These kinds of issues truly are unfortunate due to the damage they do, especially since not everyone is apparently aware of anger's extremely scary habit of transforming people into who they aren't outside of their will. And thanks to human nature, this makes it almost natural to assume acts like these are being done intentionally out of malice.

And I'll also admit that it was tempting at first for me to feel the same way. In my case, though, given other things I had already seen plus personal experience (such as the fact that real-life situations aren't these nice, simple clear-cut “this is a good guy, this is a bad guy” kind of stuff that you see in cartoons and fairy tales), I remembered that I really needed to wait until I had a better idea of what was actually going on.

Unfortunately, I don't think much can be done about people who don't realize this (or worse, do and refuse to believe it). But what really counts in the end, I think, is that DJ Omnimaga does eventually recognize when he's gone over the line and goes back and tries to make things right and try to prevent similar occurrences, which is probably about the best anyone can really do in this situation.

I am finding that learning this is helping me handle these sorts of events much better since I've found that when they really do seem wrong or unreasonable, they're not actually meant and get worked out. So I no longer get as worried as before.

Nah don't worry I doubt people (including myself) will be offended, since there are nothing meant to be malicious in this post. However, I need to let something out: I think you need to be a bit more open-minded about the fact certain people will take considerably longer to desensitize themselves. As you say later in your post, I did improve over the years, but notice how incredibly long it took. Everyone is different. I also think I do have some mental issues, even if probably minimal (such as asperger syndrome) Since the past few months, many people showed me that they wanted to drop old problems between me and them. Instead of bringning up the past, they wanted to focus on calc programming. In addition to the increased support I got on Omnimaga compared to the old board, this greatly helped me. Sadly, real life issues caused me to have certain days where I feel in a bad mood, and this is at those times where I become unstable. However, the support from people helped me a lot getting out of the hole and trying to do a huge effort to pretend to ignore what people say behind me elsewhere helped reduce the pressure on me, eventually allowing me to manage to ignore stuff people say behind. The only time where I usually feel bad about something said in my back is if it comes from a person that I thought to be friend and trusted a lot. At those times, it hurts (not really what the person says, but the betrayal).

Another thing I did that seems to have improved me slightly lately was that when I feel down, I try to avoid going in IRC channels or forums where I am still at risk of blowing up. I also avoid places where I only go to talk to just one person but am at risk there too. I try to find another way to talk to the person, since I don't see the point of going to those places otherwise. Eventually, I unconsiously discovered that my sensitivity improved a little bit more, despite still having a long way to go. Now instead of just visiting #omnimaga and Omnimaga, I also often visit #ti and even #cemetech and even Cemetech itself, even thought I often had feuds between some members there in the past. In #ti, there are rules regarding trolling because they want the channel to remain exclusive to TI calc talk, no off-topic discussion allowed. In #cemetech it's more lax except on swearing, and if people start trolling don't expect them to get kicked, unless the person spam or flood with caps lock and mass highlight. When I go there, now I just tell myself that if some people don't want me there or wants to troll me, then they can fuck off. I got some experience with some type of trolls now and discovered that those people cannot be taken seriously, so you either ignore them or totally mess with them (altough I don't do the later, since I suck at it. I just watch instead and laugh at their stupidity.). Plus if issues occurs, I just tell myself that they can't harm me because they're separated by a computer screen. If bad people goes as far as e-mailing me, it's very easy to just click a delete button. As for Omni, nobody wants troublemakers anyway so they'll just request the banhammer hit on haters. Not that haters are really common around here nowadays, anyway. Not to boast or anything, but I think Omnimaga became so huge (and the source of many TI programs) that any troublemaker coming around would just be made fun off, indirectly.

I still need to be VERY careful, though. As you could see the other day, I did not improve a whole lot. I still have a long way to go, and the only times where I really improve are when no real life issues are going on. Example, tonight, Nikky tried to troll me on Cemetech and nothing resulted from it, but on another day, I could be at risk of getting annoyed. I try to do an effort to make sure to detect those days and try to avoid potential issues then.

Maybe one day I'll be able to handle every bad situations well. However, I cannot promise this will happen like in a year or two. This could even take a decade.

Aah ok, I see. Well thanks for the support