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Author Topic: Clever jokes to 1000  (Read 23398 times)

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Offline Happybobjr

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Clever jokes to 1000
« on: December 15, 2010, 06:40:44 pm »
Note: No sexual humor please unless it related to programing/math.


Ok. Just posting some jokes i have thought of.
lets go to 1000. And only jokes you or a friend originally thought of.

1. What is the most pathetic Egyptian god?
A. Anoobous  (proper spelling is anubis)

2. Why did 2 tell on 1 and 0.
B. They were Bully'n  (proper spelling is Boolean)
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Offline Deep Toaster

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #1 on: December 15, 2010, 06:43:45 pm »
3. Your mother's so fat, inflationary theory got a lot more complicated once the physicists took her into account.
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Offline Builderboy

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #2 on: December 15, 2010, 06:45:50 pm »
4. Your mother is so fat she had to go on a high protein/low carbohydrate diet in order to reduce cholesterol and prevent the possibility of a heart attack later in life.
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Offline Yeong

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #3 on: December 15, 2010, 06:47:59 pm »
5. What kind of number is the lightest?
Ans= Floating numbers...(Wow..this was bad)
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Offline Deep Toaster

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #4 on: December 15, 2010, 06:48:31 pm »
6. A: What are the best real-life examples of a Von Neumann machine?
    B: Bacteria. They reproduce by binary fission.
« Last Edit: December 15, 2010, 06:48:44 pm by Deep Thought »
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Ashbad

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #5 on: December 15, 2010, 06:50:41 pm »
well... this one really isn't SEXUAL, but it is very funny :)

Once a man went into a barber shop because it was cold outside and inside it was warm.  He refused to get his hair cut though, which really pissed the barber.  He went off to reading a newspaper, then all of a sudden started itching his hair.  The barber asked why he wouldn't get his hair cut even though a cut would make it less itchy.  The man flicked off the barber and went back to reading his newspaper.  then the barber saw him scratching his mustache.  The barber informed the man that a mustache shave was only $5, which prompted another flicking off of the barber.  Then, the man started scratching his beard.  The barber said "HEY!  THAT'S ENOUGH! I'M SICK OF YOU LOITERING HERE!  NEXT TIME YOU SCRATCH SOMETHING, I'LL CUT IT OFF AND MAKE YOU PAY FOR THE BARBERWORK!!" and he was promptly flicked off.  The man went for a few minutes before he forgot the warning and scratched his balls.

if you not like, PM me before rating down.  I'll remove it if you do send a PM without a rating down.
« Last Edit: December 15, 2010, 06:51:26 pm by Ashbad »
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Offline holmes221b

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #6 on: December 15, 2010, 06:53:10 pm »
Quote from: happybobjr on December 15, 2010, 06:40:44 pm
And only jokes you or a friend originally thought of.
Have you ever heard of the theory that jokes come from an alien race? It comes from a scifi story my mom told me about (unfortunately, after all these years, she couldn't remember the title, so I haven't had the chance to read it myself). The statement quoted above brought it to mind.


8. Q: Why was six afraid of seven?
A: Because seven ate [eight] nine.
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Spoiler For "Because Everyone Else Is":
Quote from: qazz42 on February 08, 2011, 09:10:37 pm
*Sigh*
can we keep this on topic? The topic is about what the big thing might be, NOT SEX

Offline Deep Toaster

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #7 on: December 15, 2010, 06:57:31 pm »
9. Chuck Norris saw Medusa and turned her to stone.
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Ashbad

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #8 on: December 15, 2010, 06:59:13 pm »
Chuck norris doesn't do push ups, he does world downs
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Offline Deep Toaster

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #9 on: December 15, 2010, 07:01:10 pm »
Quote from: Ashbad on December 15, 2010, 06:59:13 pm
Chuck norris doesn't do push ups, he does world downs

Quote from: happybobjr on December 15, 2010, 06:40:44 pm
And only jokes you or a friend originally thought of.

;)

11: There are two types of people in the world: those who laugh at binary jokes and those who don't care.
« Last Edit: December 15, 2010, 07:01:27 pm by Deep Thought »
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Offline Yeong

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #10 on: December 15, 2010, 07:02:05 pm »
12: Math teacher asked student a question and the student said "Chuck Norris." The Math teacher said no and he was never seen again.
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Ashbad

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #11 on: December 15, 2010, 07:02:58 pm »
there are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary and those who do not

there are 20 types of people in this world: those who understand tenerary, those who do not, those who have no idea what the hell it is used for, and those who actually use a platform based on tenerary coding.
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Offline Deep Toaster

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #12 on: December 15, 2010, 07:04:50 pm »
14: Your mother thinks so little, she doesn't exist.
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Offline Yeong

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #13 on: December 15, 2010, 07:06:28 pm »
15: StarCraft joke.
Overmind: I will conquer those damn Terrans. Overlord, did you found them?
Overlord: Yes sir, they're near by.
Overmind: Good. We'll catch them by surprise...4-Drone rush, go!
*4 Drones mines like hell, spawn spawning pool and make 6 zergling*
Overmind: Go, my zerglings, destroy those Terrans!
-Few minutes Later-
Zergling: WTF? It's island map!
*Overmind Fails*
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Offline qazz42

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #14 on: December 15, 2010, 07:08:43 pm »
If you go back in time to kill your grand-----------------
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