« previous next »
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 6   Go Down

Author Topic: Clever jokes to 1000  (Read 23401 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline Happybobjr

  • James Oldiges
  • LV11 Super Veteran (Next: 3000)
  • ***********
  • Posts: 2325
  • Rating: +128/-20
  • Howdy :)
    • View Profile
Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #15 on: December 15, 2010, 07:10:00 pm »
Quote from: yeongJIN_COOL on December 15, 2010, 06:47:59 pm
5. What kind of number is the lightest?
Ans= Floating numbers...(Wow..this was bad)
love it!


Warning: very offensive.
16: Your dad is so smart, he tried to drown you when you were a baby. Your mom is so stupid, she saved you.
Warning: sexist
17. 1 represents male. 0 represents female.
      Proof that men and women aren't equal through boolean.  0=1  equals false
« Last Edit: December 15, 2010, 07:10:47 pm by happybobjr »
Logged
+0/-1 karm for this message
School: East Central High School
 
Axe: １.０.0
TI-84 +SE  ||| OS: 2.53 MP (patched) ||| Version: "M"
TI-Nspire    |||  Lent out, and never returned
____________________________________________________________

Offline Deep Toaster

  • So much to do, so much time, so little motivation
  • Administrator
  • LV13 Extreme Addict (Next: 9001)
  • *************
  • Posts: 8217
  • Rating: +758/-15
    • View Profile
    • ClrHome
Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #16 on: December 15, 2010, 07:12:41 pm »
19: Hitler complemented the sea.

'Nuff said.
« Last Edit: December 15, 2010, 07:13:59 pm by Deep Thought »
Logged



Offline Yeong

  • Not a bridge
  • LV12 Extreme Poster (Next: 5000)
  • ************
  • Posts: 3739
  • Rating: +278/-12
  • Survivor of Apocalypse
    • View Profile
Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #17 on: December 15, 2010, 07:13:15 pm »
20:
StarCraft joke 2
Overmind: The last 4-Drone rush was such a failure...
Overlord: Mr.Overmind! I found another Terran outpost! And it's not island map!
Overmind: Oh, goody. 4-Drone rush #2!
-Few minutes Later-
*4 Drones attack supply depot and SCV simply fixes it*
*Overmind struck blindness by shock*
Logged
Sig wipe!

Offline Deep Toaster

  • So much to do, so much time, so little motivation
  • Administrator
  • LV13 Extreme Addict (Next: 9001)
  • *************
  • Posts: 8217
  • Rating: +758/-15
    • View Profile
    • ClrHome
Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #18 on: December 15, 2010, 07:20:48 pm »
Quote from: Ashbad on December 15, 2010, 07:02:58 pm
there are 20 types of people in this world: those who understand tenerary, those who do not, those who have no idea what the hell it is used for, and those who actually use a platform based on tenerary coding.

Um, isn't 203==6? You only listed four :(

21: Torture works because Common Sense comes from Paine.
« Last Edit: December 15, 2010, 07:33:21 pm by Deep Thought »
Logged



Offline holmes221b

  • LV5 Advanced (Next: 300)
  • *****
  • Posts: 282
  • Rating: +13/-1
  • RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
    • View Profile
    • My Livejournal
Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #19 on: December 15, 2010, 07:29:13 pm »
#22: The following comes from an email my grandmother sent my mom several years ago, back in the late '90s (and I liked it so much that I ended up memorizing it):

Jesus and the Devil were always arguing about who was better with computers. One day, God got so fed up with the fighting that he challenged them to prove once and for all who was the best with computers. Each eager to prove themselves best, Jesus and the Devil both agreed to God's challenge.
"What exactly will this challenge entail?" the Devil asked.
"You each have two hours to do whatever it is you two do with computers," God replied. "At the end of those two hours, whomever has the most done will be deemed to be the best with computers."
So Jesus and the Devil sat down at their computers. Once both of their computers had finished booting up, God told them to start.
For the next hour and 45 minutes, Jesus and the Devil both typed away at their keyboards, writing documents in Word, creating graphs in Excell, and making powerpoints. As the two-hour mark drew closer, it was beginning to look like the Devil was going to win.
Suddenly the power went out.
The Devil swore madly at all the work he had just lost after the power had return. But Jesus wasn't even slowed down by the blackout.
When the Devil noticed this, he asked God how this was even possible.
God's reply was short, simple, and to the point: "Jesus saves".
Logged
+1/-0 karm for this message

Spoiler For "Projects":
Spoiler For "Because Everyone Else Is":
Quote from: qazz42 on February 08, 2011, 09:10:37 pm
*Sigh*
can we keep this on topic? The topic is about what the big thing might be, NOT SEX

Offline nemo

  • LV9 Veteran (Next: 1337)
  • *********
  • Posts: 1203
  • Rating: +95/-11
    • View Profile
Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #20 on: December 15, 2010, 07:32:45 pm »
Quote from: Deep Thought on December 15, 2010, 07:20:48 pm
Quote from: Ashbad on December 15, 2010, 07:02:58 pm
there are 20 types of people in this world: those who understand tenerary, those who do not, those who have no idea what the hell it is used for, and those who actually use a platform based on tenerary coding.

Um, isn't 203==6?

21: Torture works because Common Sense comes from Paine.

yes.. 203 == 6. 2 in ternary is... well, 2.
Logged

Ashbad

  • Guest
Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #21 on: December 15, 2010, 07:53:05 pm »
oops, my bad :P

consider myself type 02
« Last Edit: December 15, 2010, 07:58:18 pm by Ashbad »
Logged

Offline jnesselr

  • King Graphmastur
  • LV11 Super Veteran (Next: 3000)
  • ***********
  • Posts: 2270
  • Rating: +81/-20
  • TAO == epic
    • View Profile
Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #22 on: December 15, 2010, 07:55:41 pm »
Quote from: Ashbad on December 15, 2010, 07:53:05 pm
oops, my bad :P
Yeah, for 4 people it would have been 11.
Logged

Ashbad

  • Guest
Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #23 on: December 15, 2010, 07:59:41 pm »
There are 10 types of people in this earth, ones who know binary, and the 37 others who don't realize that this is in base 38.
Logged
+1/-0 karm for this message

Offline Deep Toaster

  • So much to do, so much time, so little motivation
  • Administrator
  • LV13 Extreme Addict (Next: 9001)
  • *************
  • Posts: 8217
  • Rating: +758/-15
    • View Profile
    • ClrHome
Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #24 on: December 15, 2010, 08:04:34 pm »
24. Andrew Carnegie's U.S. Steel Corporation was a prime example of vertical integration. In other words,

Code: (MATH) [Select]
∫
f(x)
dx
« Last Edit: December 15, 2010, 08:04:51 pm by Deep Thought »
Logged



Ashbad

  • Guest
Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #25 on: December 15, 2010, 08:05:37 pm »
Quote from: Deep Thought on December 15, 2010, 08:04:34 pm
24. Andrew Carnegie's U.S. Steel Corporation was a prime example of vertical integration. In other words,

Code: (MATH) [Select]
∫
f(x)
dx

I don't get it, can you explain?
Logged

Offline Yeong

  • Not a bridge
  • LV12 Extreme Poster (Next: 5000)
  • ************
  • Posts: 3739
  • Rating: +278/-12
  • Survivor of Apocalypse
    • View Profile
Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #26 on: December 15, 2010, 08:06:32 pm »
Code: [Select]
∫f(x)dx
is a calculus stuff called integration
Logged
Sig wipe!

Offline Deep Toaster

  • So much to do, so much time, so little motivation
  • Administrator
  • LV13 Extreme Addict (Next: 9001)
  • *************
  • Posts: 8217
  • Rating: +758/-15
    • View Profile
    • ClrHome
Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #27 on: December 15, 2010, 08:07:20 pm »
Vertical integration is a form of monopolizing an industry (where a single entity controls each step of production and so can control its own prices).

But it's also an integral written vertically ;)

Yeah, I know it's pretty bad.
Logged



Offline Yeong

  • Not a bridge
  • LV12 Extreme Poster (Next: 5000)
  • ************
  • Posts: 3739
  • Rating: +278/-12
  • Survivor of Apocalypse
    • View Profile
Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #28 on: December 15, 2010, 08:27:58 pm »
25.
for java or if u know ascii numbers...

Code: [Select]
System.out.print((char)89);
System.out.print((char)111);
System.out.print((char)117);
System.out.print((char)32);
System.out.print((char)104);
System.out.print((char)97);
System.out.print((char)118);
System.out.print((char)101);
System.out.print((char)32);
System.out.print((char)108);
System.out.print((char)111);
System.out.print((char)115);
System.out.print((char)116);
System.out.print((char)32);
System.out.print((char)116);
System.out.print((char)104);
System.out.print((char)101);
System.out.print((char)32);
System.out.print((char)103);
System.out.print((char)97);
System.out.print((char)109);
System.out.print((char)101);
Logged
Sig wipe!

Offline holmes221b

  • LV5 Advanced (Next: 300)
  • *****
  • Posts: 282
  • Rating: +13/-1
  • RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
    • View Profile
    • My Livejournal
Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #29 on: December 15, 2010, 08:31:38 pm »
Translation, please?
Logged

Spoiler For "Projects":
Spoiler For "Because Everyone Else Is":
Quote from: qazz42 on February 08, 2011, 09:10:37 pm
*Sigh*
can we keep this on topic? The topic is about what the big thing might be, NOT SEX
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 6   Go Up
« previous next »