Author Topic: Clever jokes to 1000  (Read 23208 times)

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Offline Yeong

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #30 on: December 15, 2010, 08:33:24 pm »
look up ascii table... >:D
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Offline squidgetx

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #31 on: December 15, 2010, 08:37:16 pm »
bit late, but I lol'd, Deep Thought. We're covering both of those topics right now in ap calc  and ap us history lol

and of course, soon all the railroad companies were going through horizontal integration...
Code: [Select]
∫f(x)dx
« Last Edit: December 15, 2010, 08:39:05 pm by squidgetx »

Offline MRide

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #32 on: December 15, 2010, 08:43:47 pm »
26: There was an orchestra playing Beethoven's 9th Symphony in a concert hall in the middle of town.  The bass players had a long rest, and decided to pop out the back door and head to the nearest bar for some drinks.  Before leaving, however, the bassists made sure to tie a string to the conductor's music so they knew when he would turn the page.  After the bass players got back drunk, the conductor saw them and immediately realized what was happening.  It was the bottom of the 9th, the score was tied, and the bases were loaded.

Offline Deep Toaster

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #33 on: December 15, 2010, 08:57:37 pm »
26: There was an orchestra playing Beethoven's 9th Symphony in a concert hall in the middle of town.  The bass players had a long rest, and decided to pop out the back door and head to the nearest bar for some drinks.  Before leaving, however, the bassists made sure to tie a string to the conductor's music so they knew when he would turn the page.  After the bass players got back drunk, the conductor saw them and immediately realized what was happening.  It was the bottom of the 9th, the score was tied, and the bases were loaded.

27: We captured all those basses.




Offline Happybobjr

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #34 on: December 15, 2010, 09:36:37 pm »
28: when some noob is having computer trouble I usually start by looking at the computer, pretending to think hard, then say "Did you happen to press F13?"

I get so many responses.
a few "Oh, opps i did do that"
occasionally "I didn't know that could cause problems"
« Last Edit: December 15, 2010, 09:36:54 pm by happybobjr »
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Offline nemo

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #35 on: December 15, 2010, 09:43:02 pm »
25.
for java or if u know ascii numbers...

Code: [Select]
System.out.print((char)89);
System.out.print((char)111);
System.out.print((char)117);
System.out.print((char)32);
System.out.print((char)104);
System.out.print((char)97);
System.out.print((char)118);
System.out.print((char)101);
System.out.print((char)32);
System.out.print((char)108);
System.out.print((char)111);
System.out.print((char)115);
System.out.print((char)116);
System.out.print((char)32);
System.out.print((char)116);
System.out.print((char)104);
System.out.print((char)101);
System.out.print((char)32);
System.out.print((char)103);
System.out.print((char)97);
System.out.print((char)109);
System.out.print((char)101);

Code: [Select]
You have lost the game.

by the way, didn't know it was that easy to convert an integer to a char. can you go backwards like that?
edit: you can! java just got 10 times better! now if only we could do (int) false.

edit2: when you write code in java/C/C++, and you're defining data, you abuse the fact that 10 and 010 are not the same number.
« Last Edit: December 15, 2010, 09:47:38 pm by nemo »


Offline DJ Omnimaga

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #36 on: December 15, 2010, 10:53:52 pm »
Lol funny jokes and being a SC player, I LOL'D at the SC joke. It happened for real, though, on the old SC, where island maps were common: I wanted to rush, only to discover I was on an island map. X.x

However it would be 4-pool rush, not 4-drone rush. :P I like doing that sometimes at SC, although it fails often.

Offline Yeong

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #37 on: December 16, 2010, 08:05:24 am »
Lol funny jokes and being a SC player, I LOL'D at the SC joke. It happened for real, though, on the old SC, where island maps were common: I wanted to rush, only to discover I was on an island map. X.x

However it would be 4-pool rush, not 4-drone rush. :P I like doing that sometimes at SC, although it fails often.

It's called 4-Drone rush in Korea :P
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Offline holmes221b

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #38 on: December 16, 2010, 08:43:18 am »
28: when some noob is having computer trouble I usually start by looking at the computer, pretending to think hard, then say "Did you happen to press F13?"

I get so many responses.
a few "Oh, opps i did do that"
occasionally "I didn't know that could cause problems"
I actually looked to see where my F13 key was...

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Offline Yeong

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #39 on: December 16, 2010, 09:11:27 am »
29: StarCraft joke 3
*Valkyrie and Wraith are flying over the Zerg Orbit*
V:Shit! Scourges are comming! OMG, Wraith, I think we'll gonna die...At least, let's die together...oh...wait...shit...YOU SUCK!!!!
*Valkyrie explodes as Wraith escapes the situation with ease with the power of cloaking*
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Offline DJ Omnimaga

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #40 on: December 16, 2010, 09:46:59 am »
Lol :P

Darn I hate cloaked units, tho. Often I feel ready to win and pwn their army, only to find out I forgot to build overseers/detectors and my entire army gets destroyed. X.x
« Last Edit: December 16, 2010, 09:47:44 am by DJ Omnimaga »

Offline Darl181

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #41 on: December 16, 2010, 06:47:51 pm »
30: "The 11th commandment: Don't get caught" (/quote from programming teacher)
31: IMO, the n-spire's novelty has kind of x-spired.
« Last Edit: December 17, 2010, 01:16:31 pm by Darl181 »
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Offline DJ Omnimaga

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #42 on: December 17, 2010, 04:48:42 pm »
Lol nice XD.

Offline Yeong

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #43 on: December 27, 2010, 07:48:42 pm »
32: StarCraft Joke 4
*Local scientists just caught a helpless probe.
Scientist 1 : Hey! I just caught a robot! Let's trap it in the room and see what it does!
*Probe warps in the huge mystical gem
Scientist 2 : It's summoning gem! It might be trying to bribe us. Let's wait until it makes more.
*Probe warps in the weird structure
Scientist 1 : Uhh...What is the meaning of this?
*Zealot warps in
Scientist 2 : Shit....
Zealot : En Taro Adun!
*Zealot savagely slits both the scientists' head.
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Offline yunhua98

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Re: Clever jokes to 1000
« Reply #44 on: December 27, 2010, 08:25:51 pm »
33.
Q:  What did the blind boy's parents do to punish him?
A:  They rearranged the furniture.

34.
A Sailor and a Priest go to play golf.  The Sailor misses his shot.  He exclaims, "F***!  I missed!"  The priest says, "You shouldn't say that, or God will kill you."  The Sailor misses the next shot too.  Once again, he says, "F***!  I missed!"  The Priest warns him, "one more time and God will kill you."  The Sailor misses the next shot as well, "F***!  I f***ing missed!"  The Priest says, "God will surely kill you now."  Then a bolt of lightning comes and kills the priest.  A voice comes from heaven and says, "F***!  I missed!"

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