[ Southern Accent ]:   Best durn thangs ever 'nvented, I'll tell ya what.  Ain't never seen somethin' so ver-see-tile in my life.  Cain't have a purty woman wit'out a good set a' hooters.  No, sir'ree.

Now, with the guys... 'scuse me a sec'nd, I'm gon' need a beer on this one...

* glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug... *
* Aaaahhh *

Nothin' like a 'freshin' beer er'ry now 'n then.

Anyway, now with the guys... they ain't got nothin' to... er... well... 'preciate, ya know?  Nah, if ya gay or somethin' like that, I ain't puttin' ya down, but I mean, ya look at a guy and its like, "Man, thur's somethin' missin' here... ain't no...."  It's like lookin' at a wall; ain't got nothin' there.  'S [It's] like watchin' that there CSPAN channer on the tel-ee-vis'n.  I had 'ta git that channer blocked off 'cause I be lookin' for me somethin' good to watch and I flip past that channer there and, shoot, I already be snorin' in the chair lookin' like I been hittin' the bottles 'little too hard.  Just nothin' there to 'preciate.

* glug, glug, glug, glug... *

Now, with the purty women, ya gots that el-ee-ment of... vis-u-al-tee.  It's like lookin' at one of them fancy paint'ns and ya know ya don't know what the hell ya lookin' at, but ya can't take your eyes off'a it.  It's like one a'dem magnets ya' put up on yer coolin' box. Finest work of art ya ever done saw if ya saw one.  An' when ya have them purty lesbian women, shoo'wee, it's bett'r than that "buy one, git one free" thang.  Best party animals ya ever did see...

Welp, bett'a git on out 'er here; I gots me some tel-ee-vis'n ta watch...