As I skimmed trhough some old topics here + my previous experience with some members I am getting the idea that some members are really going trough some heavy stuff in live. I have read about suicidal people, break-ups, other losses in the family etc. I want to offer help to those who still have problems or need a listening ear. I don't in anyway mean to be arrogant but from childhood on I have been asked many times to comfort others (or I did that from myself). Therefore I think I am able to help some people out, give some advice or just to listen. just being heard can be a terrific relief.

Since there are also people on these forums whom are uncertain about their social skills or who are shy, I think I can help. of course I can only do this much but the main reason I can help is because I have been shy, I have been a outstander, shortly said I know what it is like to be in those situations. Altough to you I am much of a stranger sometimes strangers can listen better and feel better what the real problem is and how to solve it.

Now I can very well anticipate that some if not most of you are a little anxious about sending me or telling me anything, well that is the first step to solve a problem, share it even if I wouldn't reply to it (which I won't (in other words I will reply)) it's still a relief to have it said. I can understand if you don't trust me so if you are anxious to leave a reply below you could send a PM. I promise I won't share any information unless explicitly allowed.

My apologies for just coming up with this topic but truth be said, I do think some people here need help and want help furthermore, I think I can provide help (albeit to a certain extend). I have no idea on how most members are doing now but if I look at the older topics (end '09 and begin '10) I can see lots of members having difficulties with all kinds of problems. Once again admitting a problem and then talk about it or just get it out there can be immersively relieving.

None of you have to contact me, if you don't want to, don't do it, if you can get proffesional help, do that. But if you just are frustated and want to get your story out just write it off and I'll try to give help as much as I can. I am just offering a handshake it is up to you to accept it or decline it (in which again, declining is very plausable and very much respected).

Once more sorry for coming up with this so radically and out-of-the-blue but I feel like I can and must help...

P.S. Just a recent personal experience:I myself recently had a problem which I couldn't get out of my head, I did not know what to do, that was, until I told a friend about it. I just feel like I can handle it now simply because I told it means I had to make a comprehending story, otherwise my friend wouldn't understand. So I did that, I just organized my mind, what had happened, why did I feel this or that way about it and how did this problem arise? By asking these kind of questions I came up with a crystal clear story, a comprehensive overview of my problem, next, I told my friend about it, he listened but he did not reply to it. That did not matter however because I listened to myself! I just listened to my own overview of this problem and by hearing it I could comprehend it fully! One could turn it upside down shake it around, toss with it and reverse it's order but the image, the overview was absolutely, unprofoundly clear. This way i could distantiate from the problem, I could overlook it! From that perspective things looked entirely different! I did not feel like this problem was anybody's fault anymore, I did not feel saddened about it anymore, I just fel the anger witdrawing...
To solve a problem is to oversee a problem and that is what I managed. With this story I am trying to make it very clear that I nor anyone else in this world is perfect, but to realize you are imperfect and then to know it doesn't matter (since everybody is imperfect) is just...a relief beyond comprehension.

Nice move! That's a thumbs up.

Thanks, my pleasure.

maybe it wasn't clear in my original post but I need to emphasize that this is a personal choice, you can choice not to be helped (because you don't need help or don't want it from me) or you can choice to get help. That choice is personal. With that I mean that in no way I am pressuring or try persue anybody to go talk with me.

It's your choice, your call. A important realization, you are your own master.

As the movie 'The Matrix' already made very, very clear. The 'problem' is choice, nobody, nothing can control choice, only you!

For odd reasons, I feel more comfortable sharing some of my stuff with people online than in real life, although IRL I do not mind doing so with my mom. The reason is simple: IRL, if I say something about myself involving negative stuff, then many other people in the city will know, no matter if I tell the person to not tell anyone. I speak from experiences I had in the past and that some other people had. I'M not sure in what kind of area I live but there aren,t anyone where I live that I can seem to trust. As a result, most people who are aware of my life issues are online. That said, I tend to not share everything online either, though, because in the past, some people have used this info at my expense. In one case, I was called emo-in-chief in a public TI calculator IRC channel I was not in with 60 users online (I just saw the logs at the time), despite that person seeming open to listening back then. Since that event, whenever I rant about life, it is in private channels/chats, the staff forum here or in Randomness. I had plans to move a certain topic from the staff forum to randomness recently but I am still relunctant about it, in case it eventually falls under the wrong real-life hands.

ANother issue that makes me talk less about my stuff compared to years ago is that often, there are people who impose their beliefs on me when trying to help me and assume if I try certain things it will work as easily as them and despite telling them I tried and tried, they won't listen. That usually makes me feel even worse about myself, so as a result, fewer and fewer people know about my personal details as time goes by.

I'll keep your offer in mind, though.

Good. You don't seem like you are rushing your choice which is great! Also my respects for even considering it, I am honored by it. I really am (especailly considering the arguments we have had). The amount of trust you put into me by even considering it, is tremendous. My respects.

where were you last week?
right when everything starts to go right....

where were you last week?
right when everything starts to go right....

This slightly confuses me, could you be so kind as to explain it?

I think he means that last week things weren't going so great and could have needed someone to just listen or something but now that you offer what was going on is over and things are getting better.

Well, just to share a little of my life, the biggest event that impacted me in my life was loosing my Dad.  He was never a nice person, and was abusive both physically and emotionally, so my sister and I eventually decided to cut off the relationship a few years after he and my Mom divorced.  We fought to grant my mother full custody, and we haven't seen him since, and don't want to.  My step-dad luckily filled the gap, and is more of a father to me than my biological dad is.