Author Topic: rudeness toward me (Read 2675 times)

DJ Omnimaga · « **on:** June 13, 2006, 03:46:00 pm »

I dunno why but people in general always have been kinda rude toward me. It's not everyone, but there is people in real life and online who does, and I never knew why they always seemed to be more rude with me than others. What did I do to have to deal with this? I dunno... Some people might tell me it's because I overreact, but this happens when I meet new ppl as well, who don't know me at all. Sometimes some will talk to me a lot but whenever I unintentionally say something that isn't really smart or that most ppl know they always try to make me feel like I am a retard and that I am stupid. Sometimes I say something that isn't bad imo and it almost seems like I caused an heinous crime, they look at me like this

or do the stuff I mentionned above. That's stuff I always have to deal with and I don't like. Why I am posting about it is because this happened sometimes right here and on IRC (even this evening). WHat happens is that it makes me feel pretty embarassed and depressed at the same time, and I can end up being even more rude than the person itself. The sad thing is that I know it might be unintentional from some ppl, who at the same time might be not be in a good mood, but it's just that it doesn't help me very much to feel better. Yesterday evening I stopped workign on metroid litterally after something like this happened and I quitted IRC as well because I was afraid things would get hot in here.

anyway I'm done ranting now I just wanted to let you know about this because it's not easy to deal with this at all when it happened all your life. Now because of this I become pretty defensive and I often end up taking constructive told in a meaner way as unconstructive criticism and I am afraid that person hold a grudge against me for something I did. In other words: when someone is rude toward me in any way I freak out

spengo · « **Reply #1 on:** June 13, 2006, 07:25:00 pm »

I'm just rude to everyone, pay me no heed.

Being brutally blunt has always been my way. IMHO if everyone was blunt all the time, most of the world's problems would be solved.

Also, did you ever stop to think- maybe you just expect the rude things and so that's all you hear. I can say from experience what you expect to hear, you will hear. It may be hard to break from this, but try to automatically assume everyone in the world is basically honest and good and then most all rude things will seem to never have existed. Btw, please finish metroid, it looks very cool and I'm sad that I don't have a calculator capable of running it at playable speeds.

rivereye · « **Reply #2 on:** June 14, 2006, 02:15:00 am »

xlibman, if people are being that way, contact them and talk it out (or attempt to), even if I am one of them.

Spellshaper · « **Reply #3 on:** June 14, 2006, 04:21:00 am »

Rudeness is a streak in everyone's personality, in some it crops up more often than in others... So we have to deal with it >_<

Whenever something's wrong, say it. Then we can help cleaning the mess up

katmaster · « **Reply #4 on:** June 14, 2006, 07:30:00 pm »

I find that what works for me, is apathy. People are mean to me too sometimes, but I've found that if I'm just kind and apathetic to their rudeness, they kinda step back like woah, and I feel a lot better, too. It's hard sometimes, but I find that it works.

Darth Android · « **Reply #5 on:** August 02, 2006, 08:08:00 am »

First, please do not hold rudeness against someone. Even though I try my best to not be, even I am rude at times. When stuff snowballs me down, I get irritable and am generally a grouch. It happens to the best of us. I find very few people that don't truely regret being rude after they have had some time to cool off/get their life in order. You can't really accuse someone unless you know all the facts about what's going on in someone's life. Perhaps their aunt just died, or Fluffy got run over by a truck. Many things may influence how someone speaks or types besides their true feelings on the subject.

I agree with spengo that being frank is the best way to solve problems. But for some people, it's very hard to ignore the rudeness. Some people are just extremely empathic and feel it before they realize it and can ignore it. The easiest solution is to tell people to try and watch what they type, read it over several times before post to make sure it won't be misinterpereted.

Kevin has told us that it's getting to him. It's our job to watch what we post so that it doesn't. He's asking for our help, and we need to do all that we can to help him. As a rule on my network, IRCops are not allowed to oper up (request power from the server) if they don't think they are in a mood to provide fair judgement and clear thinking. We need to use the same concepts when posting: Don't post if you aren't in the mood. Go shoot a box with a BB gun or something to let off energy until you are calm and can think straight.

bfr · « **Reply #6 on:** August 10, 2006, 07:32:00 am »

Very well put.

elfprince13 · « **Reply #7 on:** August 10, 2006, 09:23:00 am »

I have found that:

1) Being rude doesn't get you anywhere
2) that unless people are intentionally being rude, they will usually stop when asked privately. if done publicly they will likely get defensine.
3) respond to rudeness with kindness, at least for the first few offenses, and/or if you see them making an effort to stop being rude.

spengo · « **Reply #8 on:** August 10, 2006, 11:51:00 am »

roflooool wtfz0r n00b u r a fag!

... j/k

Author Topic: rudeness toward me (Read 2675 times)

spengo

katmaster

elfprince13

spengo