Author Topic: this is for xlibman and kalan_vod  (Read 16159 times)

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CDI

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this is for xlibman and kalan_vod
« on: January 31, 2006, 01:36:00 pm »
Basically

[19:26] <[froody]> I've had many a "crush" on people, well one of them was more than a crush, it was to the point that I cared more for them than for me, being I'd put myself in acual pain just to make sure they were happy. well I told her, and it kinda didn't do anything... then I herd from a froend of mine/hers that she wasn't going to respond, so I asked this friend for help on how to forget her, the thing is that I stopped thinking halfway through the letter and just wrote, apperantally I let too much of the real me into the open and now she is saying that she has decided to cut me from her life
[19:26] <[froody]> then ontop of that the other friend has almost but ceased communication with me, so I've lost the 2 people I care most about in my life...
[19:26] <[froody]> ONTOP of that I was already depressed... now I'm about as low as I can get... I feel constant pain
[19:27] <[froody]> I just want the pain to go away... I want to be happy again... I don't like being like this... this isn't me (or I guess it IS)... but I can't stand myself...
[19:28] <[froody]> I know that, the problem is that normally I can convince myself that, hell it dosen't matter what I feel, just make other people happy... well over years of ignoring myself, this shock briught me into my own and made me realize how low I am... if it can get lower, trust me, I'd LOVE to see it...

Offline DJ Omnimaga

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this is for xlibman and kalan_vod
« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2006, 02:15:00 pm »
sorry to hear that CDI I saw this on IRC earlier with other stuff, it's pretty sad that lot of nice ppl have to go through lot of sh*t, especially when they are the people who deserve the best of life. i have no friends actually, but I try to continue in life with what i have, what i know and try to get the best of life, even if sometimes it can be hard. Some stuff that happened to me has some impact of how I act today now, I have to deal with this a lot and sometimes I have to do some choices, but I try to get the best of life anyway. I hope things go well for you :(sad.gif Please reconsider doing anything bad, If I learned that you hurted yourself or killed yourself or dissapeared somewhere I would feel really really really sad, even if we never meet in real life.  :(sad.gif

Offline kalan_vod

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this is for xlibman and kalan_vod
« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2006, 02:30:00 pm »
Fred, I am sad to hear you are not doing so well. But I know that it will get better later, like I said with DA things will get better. I hope that you aren't going to hurt yourself or anything, and if you did then you would be hurt more of us then just yourself :(sad.gif. I and kevin and your mom for sure will be hurt by what you do, but I am sure there are other people in your life who will be upset about anything bad you do to yourself! I think you need to let things settle for a little bit (not talk to her if you need to) and if you can just talk to the ones you feel comfortable talking to about this.

spengo

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this is for xlibman and kalan_vod
« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2006, 03:40:00 pm »
Hrm, it seems that us crazy anti-social people can't handle this sort of stuff very well. :/ You are now the third or fourth person I know who has experienced this sort of thing and responded poorly. Don't worry tho- I think you have the lightest case of this so far. DA has been sad for almost a year now about this sort of thing and my friend frankie had it for a month which seems short except it was really bad with him- all he did was sleep and stare at the walls and stuff. Didn't eat much and didn't even play the mmorpgs he obsessivly plays normally. (he can't stand not being in the top 100 people playing in the world :Pblah.gif )

Anywho, all I can really say is there are other fish in the sea. It probably doesn't seem so right now, but eventually you should be able to get over it. It's not like you yourself are low/a bad person as the irc quote above seems to suggest. I don't know why your other friend is avoiding you, but it might be just because they don't want to make you angry or sad by bringing up the girl or whatever and don't really know how to talk to you about it. Act normally (meaning not depressive) and start hanging out with your friends like normal again. Maybe have a LAN party, become intoxicated with bawls and mountain dew, ddr till you can't stand, and play some fps all night long until your brain is completely dead to take your mind off things. (god, I love LAN parties ;)wink.gif ) Also, a suggestion for the future- it might not be so great to start off with saying you have a crush on the person. Even tho I'd prefer that the world worked that way, most people aren't prepared for such forwardness. (actually, how you had the guts to do that is beyond me :o You definitely get credit for that) How bout first going out with them for a bit and getting to know them better? rofl, me giving advice on love stuff. XDgni.gif On second thought, considering I majorly suck in all social matters don't take any of my advice. Just quit being depressed and be happy if only for the reason that happiness is much cooler. Also, there's the timendus quote: "If life's being a b*tch, just kick it in the nuts, and laugh in it's face!" ~Timendus

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Offline Ranman

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this is for xlibman and kalan_vod
« Reply #4 on: January 31, 2006, 05:22:00 pm »
Women... Can't live with 'em... Can't live without 'em :Dbiggrin.gif

Hang in there Fred! This is simply not fair. I went through a similar situation when I was in high school. I think this is a fairly common part of getting older. It is normal to spend some time grieving. This grieving will build you up and strengthen your character. You will become a better person because of this -- isn't that ironic?

You have a lot of friends that care about you -- focus on them. It sounds like this girl is missing out on a fine young man -- you! :thumb:google.gif
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Offline tr1p1ea

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this is for xlibman and kalan_vod
« Reply #5 on: February 01, 2006, 03:00:00 am »
Hey CDI, I dont know if this will make you feel better, but you certainly aren't alone. There are a lot of people (especially in this community) with relationship problems ... the real problem is there is no quick fix for this kind of feeling.

The only thing that does help is time, and talking about it with friends. Most of us are always available for a chat, or even just to be an ear and listen. Im always on IRC if you feel the need.
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this is for xlibman and kalan_vod
« Reply #6 on: February 01, 2006, 03:09:00 am »
Uh jeah... I guess that comes with being a binary nerd...

I too don

Offline kalan_vod

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this is for xlibman and kalan_vod
« Reply #7 on: February 01, 2006, 05:12:00 am »
I hope that we hear a reply from you sometime soon fred, as I will get a little more worried as each day goes by. I know it has been <12 hours but today if you get a chance just drop a line on IRC or here (maybe both?). Anyways as everyone has said before I think time is the only anwser (as it will heal the wounds). If you talk to DA he had a similar situaction to yours and he was miserable, but now he is making progress towards a better additude towards his life (i'm not putting words in his mouth, at least I hope i'm not). He is talking with the person who caused all this commontion with him, and though it may be rough some days for him he gets through it (they talk in class and may cuss at each other or scream/cry but we all need to let it out). I hope to see you stay around here, as I know me and kevin aren't the only ones who would miss you and care about you!

P.S. If you don't find any of this helpful then look at my speling misteaks.....Yeah I spelled those two words wrong on purpose but oh well I don't have to try too hard to mispell :Dbiggrin.gif.

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this is for xlibman and kalan_vod
« Reply #8 on: February 01, 2006, 05:18:00 am »
QuoteBegin-kalan_vod+1 February 2006, 11:12-->
QUOTE (kalan_vod @ 1 February 2006, 11:12)
P.S. If you don't find any of this helpful then look at my speling misteaks.....Yeah I spelled those two words wrong on purpose but oh well I don't have to try too hard to mispell :Dbiggrin.gif.

you spelled fred wrong too

Edit by kalan: Nah I did that one on purpose too! ^.^..... sorry fred!
*kalan_vod slaps himself for calling you frank all this time*

CDI

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this is for xlibman and kalan_vod
« Reply #9 on: February 01, 2006, 12:41:00 pm »
I have talked to DA (last night) and among other things here's more information...

This isn't a short 'bout of depresson, the past 5 years I have put people before me and getting more and more depressed as each day goes on and finally I snapped...

Last night I decided to tell people how bad I am, most didn't know, but do now that yes, I have tried suicide before, and the only thing holding me back was her...

Again last night around 2:00AM I tried again... but felt that at LEAST I needed a day for final goodbyes, and lasting impressons, and all I need now is some sense... I hate to say but I'm more than half-sure I'll acually go through with it, and not have any doubts...

Around 2:30 when this all hit me I did something very important that got me up in the morning, took me to school, and has gottem me here... I wrote "Don't think ANYTHING" in very large letters on a sign to post in my room, now following that sign is easier said than done, I haven't yet acheved thoughtlessness but I will get there...

If I haven't made it clear, I don't WANT to feel this way, but it seems like at times the thought of another day alive isn't enough to keep me going any longer, and if there were no more days then maybe, just maybe, it'll all be okay in the end...

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this is for xlibman and kalan_vod
« Reply #10 on: February 01, 2006, 01:21:00 pm »
I understand how you feel. I too was always trying to think of other people all the time. After being hurt constantly, I gave up on them. I came to the realization that I am a person that simply has higher morals than most people, and I care what happens to people in general. But people take advantage of that, and of you, and don't care what happens to you, only that they get what they want.

What helps? I read books. I throw myself into them, making myself the main character, and completely focus on it. If you like medeval books, please look into Terry Goodkind. Believe it or not, he actually kept me from doing the deed.

And do not think people do not care about you. You are one of the few friends that I have on the net. You have a lot of people I am sure care there, like your family.

If nothing else, take up other interests, that will make you focus completely on the hobby. That is what I found that works.


I really hope you do nothing drastic, my friend.
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arcane wizard

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this is for xlibman and kalan_vod
« Reply #11 on: February 01, 2006, 01:39:00 pm »
How seriously are you thinking of comitting suicide now? I know that it hurts a lot so I think it's indeed time to put other's problems on hold and ask for help, so posting here is a good thing. If you keep posting, we will listen at least, maybe we can offer some more help.

Do you have anybody you can go to to talk? Maybe family or another friend? Maybe a local preacher, if you're religious? Someone who'll just listen and be there for you? Maybe you can talk on a hotline for problems like this? There are some very nice people out there willing to help you. If you can't or just want to post here, that's fine too.

I'd like to offer this link with some video/audio's that always get me out of depressions, maybe you can find some comfort in them:
http://www.bswa.org/modules/mydownloads/viewcat.php?cid=15

If it doesn't help or you don't want to watch them, then that's ok too, we'll still be here if you want to talk.

CDI

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this is for xlibman and kalan_vod
« Reply #12 on: February 01, 2006, 01:46:00 pm »
@arcane wizard - recentally? a week or so... and I know how to make it painless... but that's beside the point...

as for people to talk to, I have IRC... but past that no... nobody here knows/understands... and we can't affors a theapist...

haveacalc_

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this is for xlibman and kalan_vod
« Reply #13 on: February 01, 2006, 01:54:00 pm »
You must keep trying.  I don't know you well as some people here, but I can tell you that life is infinitely better than this last resort.  Turn to God, and please don't give up.  Get a bible.  Don't think, just read.










CDI

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this is for xlibman and kalan_vod
« Reply #14 on: February 01, 2006, 01:56:00 pm »
I cannot turn to god (no offense for this part) for I don't belive in him... that is part of what makes death so uneventful... as far as I know there isn't anything more after that...

but I can only promise life until friday, after that I cannot promise anything)