I had to right an essay on power and persuasion in relation to a topic of my choosing in my English class and i chose computer security. I had originally written a very in depth paper, but my teacher told me it was too complicated so I had to rewrite it the night before It was due. This is what my paper ended up being(attached). Could you tell me what you think of it please. I'd like to hear what people here say about it. The other student that reviewed it said it was too dry.

I think its a bit to compact, pushed together. I think you should have divided it in more paragraphs.

But thats just my opinion.

Quote

The only really bad thing about open source operating system's security is that unless it is an extremely serious problem like easy, anyone can do it from anywhere, complete takeover of computers or networks the fixes for it will not be released till the next development cycle is over.

This isn't true, security fixes have a very high priority, and are pushed out as updates daily.
If there is for example a security hole in Firefox 4, they will not wait till Firefox 5 before its fixed. Ubuntu for example get constantly security updates (they are pushed much much faster than Windows).

I didn't see any good ways to divide the paragraphs up more.

That was just what I read from my sources. they are obviously wrong and I know that now but I didn't when I wrote the paper