I found this on this forum and I thought it was funny so I am sharing with you. The original is in french but I translated most of the ones I could translate in english. Forget about the part about Quebec because it's impossible to translate and you wouldn't understand anyway:

1. Only in Canada... There's a parking for disabled people in front of a skating rink
2. Only in Canada... At your home you can get a pizza faster than an ambulance
3. Only in Canada... In parmacies you have to walk all the way through the entire store to get your prescription, yet you can buy cigarettes right next to the entrance
4. Only in Canada... people buys a double-cheeseburger, french fries big format and a Diet Coke.
6. Only in Canada... People leaves their luxury car outside the garage and fill the garage with lots of value-less stuff
7. Only in Canada... we use the phone number/name displaying service and use the waiting call (i was not sure how to translate that one, but in other words it means when someone calls you while you're on the phone) service only to know you got that call you didn't want to get
8. Only in Canada... we buy hot-dog sausage in pack of 10 and hot dog bread slices in pack of 8

The following is most of the stuff between the Canada and Quebec part that I could translate or that could even be translated at all:

Have you ever wondered why the word "abbreviation" is so long?
Have you ever wondered why you need to click the Start button to shut down Windows?
Have you ever wondered why lemon juice is made of artificial flavour, yet dishes cleaning soap is made with true lemons?
Have you ever wondered why there's no mouse-flavoured cat food?
When they release a new dog food with improved taste, who tests it?
Have you ever wondered why are syringues used to eutanize sterilized?
You know these black boxes said to be indestructible inside planes? Then why don't they build the entire plane with that material?

Or the south for that matter:

1.In California, a mudslide is a natural disaster, in North Carolina, a mudslide is an excuse to put knobby tires on something and play in it.
2.In the south, any terrible thing can be remedied with food.
3.In the south we have tax free weekends for guns. (true, I saw it on the news yesterday)
4.In the south if something is too sweet, we will add sugar to it.
5.In the south if it's bad for you already, we will add sugar then fry it.
5.In the south, nobody can count, even to 6!
5.In teh souf nobahdy can speehl eiver.
4.In the south, most people only use lemons in tea.
3.In the south, we don't bother with needles in euthanizations, we simply drag you out into a field and shoot you with one of our discount-tax-free-firearms.
4.In the south, most people fly drunk. When we go down, we make sure to hit something hard so we don't have to limp away from the piece of crap.