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Author Topic: 500 Ways to Torture a programmer  (Read 26015 times)

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Offline Munchor

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500 Ways to Torture a programmer
« on: December 28, 2010, 06:05:59 pm »
1. Make him make binary Raycaster;
2. Force him to use Visual Basic during all of his life;
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Offline Binder News

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Re: 500 Ways to Torture a programmer
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2010, 06:06:42 pm »
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 :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:
 :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t:

3) Make him/her play typing games for at least 6 hours a day
4) Chain him/her to a chair right in front of a fully loaded desktop
5) give him/her a computer with no internet, and the only thing on it is Dora the Explorer videos
« Last Edit: December 28, 2010, 06:11:29 pm by Binder News »
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Offline c.sprinkle

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Re: 500 Ways to Torture a programmer
« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2010, 06:13:27 pm »
6. Give him/her a calc with 2.53 MP.
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Offline Raylin

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Re: 500 Ways to Torture a programmer
« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2010, 06:29:29 pm »
7. Give them a Casio.
8. Make them code spaghetti code.
9. Make them destroy their calc with a hammer.
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Offline jnesselr

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Re: 500 Ways to Torture a programmer
« Reply #4 on: December 28, 2010, 06:30:28 pm »
Quote from: Binder News on December 28, 2010, 06:06:42 pm
5) give him/her a computer with no internet, and the only thing on it is Dora the Explorer videos
*shudders*
10) Tell him he has to program an OS in Java.

EDIT: Raylin just had the gaul to ninja me and then edit my post. ;-)
11) Ninja a programmer and edit his post.
« Last Edit: December 28, 2010, 06:34:47 pm by graphmastur »
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Offline AngelFish

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Re: 500 Ways to Torture a programmer
« Reply #5 on: December 28, 2010, 06:35:59 pm »
12) Change the specifications for the Java OS halfway through the project to make the OS pure TI-BASIC.

EDIT: Graph has the audacity to Ninja me and not edit my post [even though he's not staff].

Double Edit: ... and then point it out.
« Last Edit: December 28, 2010, 06:38:18 pm by Qwerty.55 »
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Offline jnesselr

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Re: 500 Ways to Torture a programmer
« Reply #6 on: December 28, 2010, 06:36:29 pm »
Qwerty.55: Your number should be 12.
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Offline Munchor

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Re: 500 Ways to Torture a programmer
« Reply #7 on: December 28, 2010, 07:02:53 pm »
Quote
9. Make them destroy their calc with a hammer.

This is the worst one!

13. Make them use Internet Explorer to play Runescape.
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Offline Raylin

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Re: 500 Ways to Torture a programmer
« Reply #8 on: December 28, 2010, 07:04:02 pm »
14. Make them play RuneScape.

Fixed for ya.
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Offline Munchor

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Re: 500 Ways to Torture a programmer
« Reply #9 on: December 28, 2010, 07:10:46 pm »
I don't wanna go for how to torture a professional gamer...

15. Make them use Kompozer for HTML/CSS making.
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Offline eriktheorange

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Re: 500 Ways to Torture a programmer
« Reply #10 on: December 28, 2010, 07:26:46 pm »
16. Alternate Qwerty and Dvorak keyboards every 10 minutes
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Offline nemo

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Re: 500 Ways to Torture a programmer
« Reply #11 on: December 28, 2010, 07:30:37 pm »
Quote from: eriktheorange on December 28, 2010, 07:26:46 pm
16. Alternate Qwerty and Dvorak keyboards every 10 minutes

that's ruthless...
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Re: 500 Ways to Torture a programmer
« Reply #12 on: December 28, 2010, 09:20:42 pm »
17. Change his/her keyboard layout to
ABCDEFGHIJ
KLMNOPQRS
TUVWXYZ
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Offline Binder News

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Re: 500 Ways to Torture a programmer
« Reply #13 on: December 28, 2010, 09:25:48 pm »
* Binder News welcomes erictheorange

18) A never-ending loop of rick-rolls interspersed with text saying "YOU lost The Game" and pictures of lobsters being fried
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Offline Geekboy1011

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Re: 500 Ways to Torture a programmer
« Reply #14 on: December 28, 2010, 09:32:22 pm »
19)make them code in bash and only use suicide linux
« Last Edit: December 28, 2010, 09:34:07 pm by Geekboy1011 »
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