The Ashbad newsletter, printing one

TODAY'S TOPIC: Big-Ass Games

Hello!  I am Ashbad, the editor for the Ashbad newsletters.  Before I shall begin my official newsletter, you're probably wondering, 'what the hell is this?'.  Well, can't answer that one seriously actually.  It's a newsletter; it's one by one by me, Ashbad;therefore it's Ashbad's Newsletter, get it?  And now your gonna say, 'but what's the point?'and I will say this and this only: 'Shut yur mouf'.  Now that we have THAT all settled, I shall begin with today's newsletter.


I -- Big ass games (bags)

I see there are many bags out there these days that are in development right now -- and it's ironic, these seem to be getting progress done faster than their sag brethen (skinny ass games).  some of these bags include Trio and Niko: Falling, Nostromo FPS, Ragnarok: Shadow over Sheclecorickrollthegameion (forgot that last word), and Ash: Phoenix.  Everyone knows that bags are always cool because they first of all are obviously big ass and have many hours of gameplay, but also the developer puts much more time into development.  But then again, sags have advantages too: they are usually better at replay value as most of them are arcade games or shoot-em-ups like phoenix 4.0.  And, those people out there developing games, you are the life of omnimaga, whether of not your game is big or skinny ass sized.  I appreciate your efforts of developing!


II -- Trio and Niko progress

Here is the newest mock up by your truly utilizing some of the latest technology in 666-bit image editing software:



As you might notice, they may be in 4 level grayscale, but that beautiful green line down the middle puts the latest 30-bit software in limbo, as that 4 pixel by 64 pixel line that innocently separates the two screenies utilizes 666-bit's 3.061802069160839023092406500876e+200 colors (>9000000000000000000000000 in short) which is kinda too bad as the human eye can only see about 16.7 million colors.  But, then you can buy a new graphics card for a lot of money to see things in 'real life color'.

III -- Male to Female ratio of members on omnimaga goes from >9000:1 to about 7543.777:1

As you might notice, there are now actual women/girls/females on the site that are staying active AND aren't on because their boyfriend is as well.  Like, totally, my bogus valley girl accent totally is non-non-heinous, but I like totally think that this is sooo cool dude because that totally means that programming calculators is totally not a just for guys -- like, girls like it too (totally).  Weird thing is, our very fluent hex programmer is so good at assembly she may be better than me in programming z80 asm -- and she uses hex and I in the latter use mnemonics.  I'm not sure if it just means that girls can be beastly programmers too, or if it's also that I just really really suck at z80 assembly that much.  probably both.

IV -- Interview about omnimaga

Today we have some fresh meat a member to interview about their fondness with omnimaga -- that special guest happens to be Lolzer123, the beastly fast programmer who I do not know but happens to have my exact same WHOIS, IP address, and game projects.  Here is how it went:

Ashbad: Hello!  what do you think of omnimaga?
Lolzer: meow meow meow meow
A: do you liek catz?
L: meow.
A: why do you have my exact same IP address?
L: ... meow? meow me meow ow meow purr scratch purr pick purr...
A: come again?
L: DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL! *end of transmission*

...obviously, lolzer enjoyed his brief 3 minute stay at omnimaga!  This shows just how fond newbies to the community are!  Keep up the great work at encouraging them in life and their projects, verteran omnimagians!

V -- Contact the editor

removed because the editor does not wanna hear your complaints and bitching.

VI -- goodbye

See you all next week with the ashbad newsletter 2!  hope you can wait till then!  an idea to sustain your suspense, you can cut out this article (after printing it out of course dumbshit) and putt all the different sections on flash cards and you can re-read a different card a day until the seventh when the next newsletter comes out!  WHAT A COOL IDEA!

a demain, till next week,

~Ashbad~

NOTE: any content above that is found offensive to a person/group of people, please PM me here on omnimaga and I will fix/change something, or just explain it better to you if it isn't [really] offensive.  PM first before you rate down, and have a good day!

obviously people don't like it, it got a -1.  So I'm gonna remove it

that is one too.  Though I will probably remove this because people don't find it as funny as my IRL friends do, so meh.

that is one too.  Though I will probably remove this because people don't find it as funny as my IRL friends do, so meh.

IRL?

oh, well sorry for asking, I was just upset for a sec because I put like 45 minutes into making it and I didn't like seeing it got negative respect. That was my bad.

won't happen again

I personally found it hilarious and clever, so kudos for that ^^ although from the overall tone i'm not sure it shouldn't be in randomness or not

This made my day.  Thanks Ashbad.

I especially liked section IV.
Thanks for the chuckles