The Ashbad Newsletter, Printing two

Ashbad Newsletter 2
Todays' topic?    How to get (and lose) respect

First, to start off, I might as well confess that I am making this at the last minute and that I really put no thought into it.  I'm joking -- or am I? you can find out.  If you shit your pants with laughter, then obvious the former is false.  Or is it?  O is it not?  O is it really?  Or are you just really bored right now and decided "what the hell I'm gonna read this crap instead of doing my 5,000 word essay due tomorrow"; probably jsut that last one.  enjoy.

I -- How to get (and lose) mountains of respect at the hands of your peers

Well, how can you get respect?  Well, first off, realize that it really does not count for anything.  It's not real respect.  If DJ could rename it, it would be called "Total post ratings"; If Sircmpwn named it, he would name it "Public approval; if I named it, it would be "Points to judge my personality on".  as you can see, respect is BS in real life and has nothing to do woth how many friends you have or gf you have (i.e. telling everyone at your school that you have +47 respect will not get you +47 girlfriends, contrary to popular belief and the watergate conspiracy)

Now, you may be wondering, "Y SHOUD I GIT RESPCT???  Y??  IT BS ASHBAD SAY"  and I will call you a dumbass because  I will probably gain respect on this newsletter like I did on the last one, and now it has value.  So, how to get it?

1. Start acting natural.  The more natural you are, the more you will be judged as someone really important, even if you don't even know a form of BASIC.

2. Host parties on starcraft often.  People love it when you invite them to a server and let them win epically.  Of course, they probably forget about it after 10 minutes or so, but if they happen to be in a good mood afterwards there is a 2% they might give you a +1 on a post about starcraft!!

3. Make an RPG or a raycaster.  It does not matter if it is good or not, but anything of the sort seems to get the most respect.

4. Wash your hands after taking a dump often.

Of course, all I have to do is write these newsletters, and I'll probably get at least a +4 rating for this one.  Sucks for you.


II -- Trio and Niko progress

instead of the normal screenshot I have posted every single newsletter since the last one, I shall be demonstrating how Trio and Niko uses OOP z80 assembly.  As you can see:

di
ld (OP2+2),sp
ld a,$80
out ($10),a
ld sp,appbackupscreen - plotSScreen
ld e,(plotSScreen-appbackupscreen+12)&$ff
ld c,-$0C
ex af,af'
ld a,%11011011
ld hl,flags+asm_flag2
inc (hl)
jr z,__Disp4Lvlskip
add a,a
.org FFFF
jp $-$+9D95
bcall(_PutS)
bcall(_Mov9toOP1)
bcall(_Dispgraph rr)
xor ixl
sub iyh
add a,ixl
or iyl
bcall(_CreateAppv)
.db c7
.dw ed54 ;yes NSPIRE users I just flicked you off there
ld a,i
push af
ld b,(hl)
inc b
jr z,__Disp4Lvlskip
rlca
ld
Clrscrn
ld bc,768
ld hl,plotSScreen
ld de,appbackupscreen
sub a
__Clrscrnloop
ld (hl),a
ldi
jp pe,__Clrscrnloop
ret
ld    h,$00
ld    d,h
add    hl,de
GetCalc("appvPYYRIX",3600)->X
Pt-on(X*8,Y*8,D*8+Pic1)
Dispgraph
End
    add    hl,de
+++++>++++[+++>++>--]++++,+++.---.+++>+++.+++,
    add    hl,hl
    add    hl,hl               ;Find the Y displacement offset
    ld    e,a
    and    $07               ;Find the bit number
    ld    c,a
    srl    e
bcall(_TheGame)
That was the routine to create a pointer to data called "Hello world" and then call that bulls*** a HLL Object.  I will put this up as open source, and you can use it under the GNU public license (C) MCMXCVIII but don't steal it and call it your own, I spent many seconds painstaking days ot make this, and one day I even was working 12 hours staight to get the raycaster part working!!!  To bad I haven't had the time to test that part of the routine, though.


III -- YABS (yet another bullshit section)

as you may have noticed, omni has been seeing some YA-- posts the past few days.  What is up with that?  Well, you may think it is downright retarded but I personally beg to differ.  A "yet another" thread is good for many reasons:

-You can write pretty much anything you want, because everyone (except DJ who reads every thread) will ignore it, so you might as well post pr0n of youself.

-you can clearly make a point.  Obviously, when you add a "yet another" to the begginning of something, everyone knows from the start that it is bullshit and that what you made is completely new.

-It bugs the living shit out of me (good if you oppose my plans to create 14 new projects tonight that I will spend no more than 30 minutes working on before gving them the boot)

SEE?  C WAT TH3 G00D TH1NGS KAN K0M3 0WT OF MaKiNg yourself a sandwich YeT AnOtHeR P00055T55?!?!?111

I have made my point I believe.

IV -- YAOI (yet another omnimaga interview)

Lolzer: Hello, world!
L: I am a lonely guy looking for a girlfriend!
Ashbad: No u r a tool
L: Will you be a friend to me?
A: no way fagg0t
L: I just bought a new Samsung 35GL plasma tv yesterday!
A: stfu
L: Now available at Best Buy for only 399.99!  But don't wait, the offer ends soon!
A: A bot...
L: What is your name?
A: Who's a fag...
L: Hello, Who's a fag!
A: ur a fagg0t bot?
L: No idea it worked like that lol
A: I'll have fun with this...
L: Wanna come to my house and play?
A: Sure!
L: Where do you live?
A: Quebec, New youk
L: Cool! No idea!
A: !k Lolzer
*end of transmission*

Next thing you know, I get an email that has a picture of a guy that looks exactly like myself waving to me, from the address [email protected]

Weird how this guy is so simular to me...

V -- Contact the editor

you can contact me by email, I look forward to hearing from you! I cannot wait to hear what you liked and disliked, and some opinions and ways to improve! I check my email 24/7 a day once every s i n g l e   day of the year!

VI -- Goodbye

Thanks for reading again!  I really enjoyed making YAAN (yet another ashbad newsletter) and I hope you have a great holiday away from omnimaga!  And now, to keep your suspense better than last week's notcards you all made, I have a better idea for big fans out there!  You can cut this article out and paste it on your tee-shirts and then yuo can walk around school/mall/your house so others can read it too!  And then yuo can discuss the politics of it with them for a grand old time!! Who will win, republicans, or democrats over the issue of YA-- threads?  See, I so smart, no wonder I got in the 99th percentile of sophmores who took the PSAT, and I was only a freshman when I took it.  You should make a shrine of me in your house and pray to me every other hour look to me on advice!





DISCLAIMER -- This article was NOT written to offend any person, group, or anything of that sort.  If you feel offended for some reason, PM me with your concerns BEFORE you rate down, only rate down if I do not fix the problem; if you rate down first, I will be sure to continue the offensive material tenfold in the next article.  thanks, and have a nice day.

you can make one if you want, but I don't have the time atm to make it in that format, sorry

yeah, they can be moved to randomness

thanks, and someone (anonimity is upheld) said that maybe I said SOME things that were a bit offensive.  I commend that person for Pming me, that will be taken care of in future articles

yes, that's what the person said was mostly offensive, I'll keep from saying that from now on

...

...Probably by someone not man enough to even leave a comment of concern or even PM me about it.  Yeah, you guys can rate it down, but at least tell me why you are doing it, and maybe I can fix some things.  If you can't be decent enough to even do that, I don't think I should continue writing these newsletters, as I do put hours into thinking up the jokes and for someone to be that rude to not even tell me why they lowered the rating is beyond not being courteous.  I find it very disrespectful to my efforts.  And I'm sure those same people are going to give me a -1 in this post too, I just have a feeling.

And, sorry Qwerty.55, I feel like announcing you for doing exactly what I said to do in my disclaimer, and PM me first.  Other people couldn't take the time of 30 seconds to leave a comment or even PM me.

To be fair I think the negative votes on your newsletter migth have been because of the actual request to PM you before rating down, since it might be seen as trying to decide how people should use the respect system.

That said, I recommended people to PM you and me what is offensive since there may be things I do not find as offensive but that I should check more carefully in the future if people find offensive, but sadly, out of Nemo and Qwerty.55, the two people who rated down the post, only the latter bothered to reply or warn you. I also noticed a recent increase in actual rude posts getting rated up lately, even if it was clear they were out of line.

Well, I'm fine that qwerty did it, I know at least how to improve.  Well, with nemo, not so much.

And, what do you mean with "I also noticed a recent increase in actual rude posts getting rated up lately, even if it was clear they were out of line."?  I don't think I really understand if the context is here in the newsletter thread itself or in general.

And, sorry Qwerty.55, I feel like announcing you for doing exactly what I said to do in my disclaimer, and PM me first.  Other people couldn't take the time of 30 seconds to leave a comment or even PM me.

I don't mind if you announce me. Frankly, I'd prefer it if the rating system announced who rated what:P

Anyway, DJ PMed me to PM you, because it wasn't clear what I was complaining about. Thanks for the notice.