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Author Topic: Chuck Norris Jokes  (Read 7961 times)

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Offline skuller972

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Chuck Norris Jokes
« on: June 14, 2009, 10:01:48 am »
Lets make a list of Chuck Norris jokes! Just copy and paste the last poster's list and add your own.

*start here*

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter"
If you mispell "Chuck Norris" on Google, it doesn't say "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It says "Run while you still have a chance!"
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
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Offline Eeems

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Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #1 on: June 14, 2009, 03:28:56 pm »
Chuck Norris once shot down an enemy air plane by pointing at it and saying "bang!"
Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the world down
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Offline Speler

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Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #2 on: June 14, 2009, 10:03:26 pm »
Not a big fan of these kinds of jokes, but I would like to point out how much more awesome I am then Chuck Norris.  Seriously, I'm the shit.
« Last Edit: June 14, 2009, 10:43:30 pm by Speler »
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Offline tifreak

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Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #3 on: June 15, 2009, 03:00:16 pm »
O o
/¯/________________________________________
| IMMA FIRIN' MAH LAZAAAR! BLAAAAAH!!!
\_\¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
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Offline Eeems

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Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #4 on: June 15, 2009, 03:33:29 pm »
Quote from: Speler on June 14, 2009, 10:03:26 pm
Not a big fan of these kinds of jokes, but I would like to point out how much more awesome I am then Chuck Norris.  Seriously, I'm the shit.
I would start running and hiding right now
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Offline DJ Omnimaga

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Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #5 on: June 15, 2009, 03:40:22 pm »
Well to be fair I myself am not too much of a fan either, as I don't understand most english jokes. Basiclaly I'm not a fan of most existing jokes unless they are in french.
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Offline Drak

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Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #6 on: June 15, 2009, 04:59:52 pm »
Quote from: skuller972 on June 14, 2009, 10:01:48 am
Lets make a list of Chuck Norris jo

no.
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Offline ralphdspam

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Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #7 on: May 06, 2011, 08:20:31 pm »
Chuck Norris never makes a necropost.  He kills the post itself.  [I know it's lame]

All of Chuck Norris's genes are dominant.
Charlie Sheen is winning, but Chuck Norris already won. 
Chuck Norris can divide by 0.
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Offline Deep Toaster

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Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #8 on: May 06, 2011, 08:21:53 pm »
Chuck Norris won the Game. Twice.
Chuck Norris saw Medusa and she turned to stone.
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Offline Darl181

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Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #9 on: May 06, 2011, 08:28:17 pm »

yay google images
« Last Edit: May 06, 2011, 08:28:33 pm by Darl181 »
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Offline Deep Toaster

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Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #10 on: May 06, 2011, 08:30:28 pm »
O.o

Frighteningly appropriate.
« Last Edit: May 06, 2011, 08:30:51 pm by Deep Thought »
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Offline TsukasaZX

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Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #11 on: May 06, 2011, 08:36:52 pm »
You can't get directions to Chuck Norris from Google Maps or any other map/directions service. You don't find Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris finds you.

Chuck Norris is why Waldo is hiding.

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? Chuck Norris knows.

When people go to bed, they check for the boogieman. When the boogieman goes to bed, he checks for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris's tears are theorized as being a panacea for all known illness and disease. Sadly, Chuck Norris doesn't cry.
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Offline Yeong

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Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #12 on: May 06, 2011, 08:37:34 pm »
The math teacher asked Jim a question and Jim answered "Chuck Norris." She said no and she was to be never seen again.
Chuck Norris doesn't get wounded;He decides when to bleed.
« Last Edit: May 06, 2011, 08:38:33 pm by yeongJIN_COOL »
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Offline TsukasaZX

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Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #13 on: May 06, 2011, 08:40:26 pm »
Originally, Chuck Norris was slated to appear in Mortal Kombat. Unfortunately, every time the user pressed any given button, all the Chuck Norris character did was roundhouse kick the opponent, never missing, and winning the entire match, regardless of health, round, or time. As such, the character was removed. Later, when asked about this bizarre bug, Norris replied "What bug?"

Why are we concerned about WMDs in other countries? Chuck Norris lives in America.
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Offline Yeong

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Re: Chuck Norris Jokes
« Reply #14 on: May 06, 2011, 08:41:52 pm »
Bermuda triangle used to be Bermuda square;Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked one island away.
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