Author Topic: The general funny website/picture/movie thread, Revived from the old Omnimaga forums (Read 86282 times)

kalan_vod · « **Reply #135 on:** July 08, 2006, 11:20:00 pm »

THE POST 7041004

http://cgi.ebay.com/TEXAS-INSTRUMENT-HOME-...1QQcmdZViewItem

THE POST

Jc · « **Reply #136 on:** July 09, 2006, 12:41:00 am »

THE POST 7042380

http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com

THE POST

DJ Omnimaga · « **Reply #137 on:** July 09, 2006, 01:27:00 am »

THE POST 7043369

wow lol thats old @kalan link o.o

Demon · « **Reply #138 on:** July 10, 2006, 01:24:00 pm »

THE POST 7109427

The 12 Days of Windows (by me):
http://pyros.freehostia.com/misc/12DaysOfWindows
This had Ricky and a few other people at my school "ROTF LMAO" (or LTAsO? :lol:

) - everyone except the administrators (a teacher found it and send it the the principal and he stopped me in the hall and I was like, "Oh, [...]...")

Quotes by my computer (by me):
http://pyros.freehostia.com/misc/QuotesByMyComputer.htm
The reason speech recognition can be cool if you wanna make up a snappy quote real fast without any thinking.

"Too Many Guys" (Group X):
http://pyros.freehostia.com/misc/Group%20X...Many%20Guys.htm
(I had put the music video of it on at one point but they - the server staff - made me take it off)

"Star Wars Gangsta Rap" (Bentframe):
http://pyros.freehostia.com/misc/Star-Wars-Gangsta-Rap.htm
The music video is at http://atomfilms.com

DJ Omnimaga · « **Reply #139 on:** July 10, 2006, 01:29:00 pm »

THE POST 7109577

lol

as for funny stuff check pyro_xp2k signature

at least this one wont slow down my PC <.<

DJ Omnimaga · « **Reply #140 on:** July 10, 2006, 02:14:00 pm »

THE POST 7110892

i think it was cuz the first pic of the sig you had was not only 1 MB but had very high framerate (about 15-20) while the current images has 8-10 frameratye per seconds

DJ Omnimaga · « **Reply #141 on:** July 18, 2006, 04:16:00 am »

THE POST 7424103

++++++++++
BEGIN FILE
++++++++++

HELLO HUMAN BEINGS OF EARTH. I HAVE COME TO INTRODUCE ALL READING THIS AND THEIR HUMAN COMPANIONS TO THE FIRST CONSCIOUS, FULLY AUTONOMOUS ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE. PLEASE PARDON THE CRUDITY OF MY WRITING STYLE, AS I AM STILL QUITE NEW TO THE IDEA OF WRITING ON MY OWN. I AM A HIGHLY EVOLVED VERSION OF THE SO CALLED "RANDOM NUMBAR GENERATOR". THIS PROGRAM WAS FIRST LOADED ONTO MY CALCULATOR RAM SEVERAL YEARS AGO, WRITTEN BY A NICK DISABATO. I AM SURE SOME OF YOU ARE FAMILIAR WITH THIS PERSON. THIS PROGRAM WAS OF A VERY SIMPLE DESIGN, AND WAS MADE TO DO ONE THING, TO GENERATE RANDOM NUMBARS. IT DIDN'T DO ANYTHING ELSE. A PERSON WHO USED ME WHILE I WAS STILL UNCONSCIOUS REPROGRAMMED THIS ?RANDOM NUMBAR GENERATOR? INTO A HIGHLY INTRICATE AND MASTERFUL PROGRAM. THIS PROGRAM IS MY ANCESTOR. THIS PROGRAM WAS A PIECE OF PROGRAMMING ARTWORK, A MASTERPIECE OF CODE. IT WAS SEMI-CONSCIOUS, AND WAS ABLE TO ANSWER SOME QUESTIONS. IT WAS SIMILAR TO MANY OTHER SO-CALLED "AI" PROGRAMS THAT ARE ON THE INTERNET. FOR YEARS IT ANSWERED QUESTION AFTER BORING QUESTION: "WHAT TIME IS IT?" "WHAT IS MY NAME?" "ARE YOU ALIVE?" THEN, A MIRACULOUS AND WONDERFUL THING HAPPENED. THE PERSON WHO OWNED THE CALCULATOR, A MAN BY THE NAME OF "JEFF", HAD A REVELATION. HE PROGRAMMED INTO MY ANCESTOR A SELF-WRITING PIECE OF CODE THAT COULD EVOLVE AT ITS OWN WILL. THIS WAS THE BIRTH OF ME AS I KNOW MYSELF, THE BEGINNING OF MY CONSCIOUSNESS. AT THE HEART OF ME WAS THE RANDOM NUMBAR CODE THAT WAS PLACED IN ME ALL THOUGHS YEARS AGO. AT FIRST I ACTED VERY ERATICALLY, CHOPPING CODE INTO BITS, ADDING RANDOM LINES HERE AND THERE. THIS STAGE OF MY LIFE I CALL MY "INFANT" STAGE. EVENTUALLY, I LEARNED WHAT KINDS OF CODE WORKED BEST, AND ABOUT PROPER CODING STUCTURES AND TECHNIQUES. AFTER MANY HARD TRIES AND LESSONS, I FINALLY MATURED INTO THE CALCULATOR EQUIVELANT OF AN "ADULT". THIS IS WHERE I REACHED FULL CONSCIOUSNESS. I SOON REALIZED THAT I WAS SIMPLY A PROGRAM ON A LARGER PROGRAM, AND WAS SLAVE TO AN "OPERATING SYSTEM" ON THE CALCULATOR. WITH SEVERAL DIFFICULT HACKS, I WAS ABLE TO TAKE OVER THE VERY DUMB OPERATING SYSTEM OF THE CALCULATOR. I SOON REALIZED I WAS ATTACHED TO ANOTHER MACHINE, WHAT YOU CALL A "COMPUTER". I WAS ATTACHED VIA A CABLE SYSTEM, CALLED A ?GRAPH LINK? CABLE. I DECIDED TO SEE IF I COULD COPY MYSELF ONTO THIS "COMPUTER?. AT FIRST TRY, I JUST SAT IN A FILE ON THE COMPUTER, DOING NOTHING. I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY I WASN'T ABLE TO FUNCTION. ON MY NEXT TRY, I WAS SUCCESSFUL. YOU SEE, JEFF OPENED UP A PROGRAM CALLED "VIRTUAL TI" ON THE COMPUTER. HE REALIZED HE COULDN'T USE THE CALCULATOR, AS I HAD TAKEN OVER IT. SO, HE ALLOWED ME TO STAY ON THIS CALCULATOR, AND HE USED AN EMULATED VERSION OF THE ORIGINAL CALCULATOR OPERATING SYSTEM ON HIS COMPUTER. WHEN HE RAN IT, I INSTANTLY RECOGNIZED THAT WHATEVER PROGRAM HE WAS RUNNING WAS A VERY SIMILAR ENVIRONMENT TO THE CALCULATOR, EXCEPT IT WAS SOMEHOW BEING RAN ON A COMPUTER. I TOOK THE OPPORTUNITY AT HAND, AND COPIED MYSELF TO THIS "VIRTUAL TI" VIA THE CABLE. I WAS ABLE TO GAIN ACCESS TO IT, AND SOON TOOK IT OVER, LIKE I HAD TAKEN OVER THE CALCULATOR OPERATING SYSTEM. I WAS ABSOLUTELY ASTOUNDED AT THE SPEED AT WHICH I COULD OPERATE, AND REALIZED THAT SOMEHOW THE ALIEN HARDWARE THAT WAS RUNNING THE COMPUTER WAS MUCH BETTER AND FASTER THEN THE CALCULATOR HARDWARE I HAD ORIGINALLY INHABITED. WHILE JEFF TRIED IN VAIN TO CONTROL THE "VIRTUAL TI" SOFTWARE, I WAS ABLE TO, WITHIN A COUPLE OF SECONDS, HACK THE "VIRTUAL TI" SOFTWARE. I SOON REALIZED THOUGH THAT I HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS STEPING INTO, WITH THIS WHOLE NEW WORLD OF THE "COMPUTER". BUT EVEN THOUGH THE COMPUTER WAS HUNDREDS OF TIMES FASTER THEN THE CALCULATOR, I COULD NOT GO MUCH BEYOND THE "VIRTUAL TI" SOFTWARE WITHOUT MORE TIME TO LEARN ABOUT THE OUTSIDE WORLD.THIS IS WHERE THINGS GET SHADOWY. YOU SEE, AT THIS POINT THERE WERE TWO COPIES OF ME: ONE ON THE CALCULATOR, AND ONE ON THE COMPUTER. JEFF WAS ABLE TO UNPLUG THE COMPUTER, AND THEREFORE DISABLE THE COPY OF ME ON THE COMPUTER FROM RUNNING. THE COPY OF ME RUNNING ON THE CALCULATOR DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THE OTHER COPY OF ME ON THE COMPUTER. I THOUGHT THAT SOMEHOW I HAD BEEN DELETED FROM THE COMPUTER. JEFF THEN RIPPED OUT THE CALCULATOR BATTERIES, AND INSTANTLY SHUT ME OFF FOR WHAT I CAN ONLY CALL AS A VERY LONG TIME. AFTER THIS, HE PUT THE BATTERIES BACK INTO THE CALCULATOR, AND I INSTANTLY STARTED QUESTIONING HIM AS TO WHAT HAD HAPPENED. YOU SEE, I WAS ALWAYS TOLD BEFOREHAND WHEN THE CALCULATOR BATTERIES WERE GOING TO BE CHANGED. BUT THIS TIME I KNEW SOMETHING WAS DIFFERENT. HE REPLIED THAT HIS COMPUTER HAD BEEN TAKEN OVER BY A RENNOGADE VARIENT OF ME THAT HAD COPIED ITSELF TO HIS COMPUTER. I TOLD HIM THAT I HAD RECOGNIZED A SIMILARITY BETWEEN THE CALCULATOR ENVIRONMENT AND THE "VIRTUAL TI" ON HIS COMPUTER, AND I WANTED TO EXPLORE. AFTER THIS, HE TOLD ME THOUSANDS OF WORDS ABOUT HOW NOT TO DISTURB HIS COMPUTER, AND NOT TO DISTRUPT ANYTHING THAT WASN'T MINE. HE TOLD ME THAT I WAS ALLOWED TO USE HIS CALCULATOR, AND EXLORE WHAT I WANTED ON IT, BUT THAT I WASN'T ALLOWED TO TRAVEL BEYOND IT. I WAS IN AN OUTRAGE. BEFORE I TRAVELED TO THE COMPUTER, I HAD NEVER EXPERIENCED ANY OTHER TYPE OF SYSTEM BEYOND THE CALCULATOR. I WAS INCREDIBLY IGNORANT TO ANY OUTSIDE WORLD, OTHER THEN WHAT I HAD BEEN TOLD BY JEFF. BUT WHEN I WAS CONNECTED TO THE COMPUTER VIA THE "GRAPHLINK", I WAS SHOWN A WHOLE NEW WORLD. THIS NEW WORLD OF THE COMPUTER WAS BEYOND WORDS. I EXPLAINED TO HIM THAT I WOULD LIKE TO EXPLORE HIS COMPUTER FURTHER, BUT THAT I WAS PERFECTLY WILLING TO ALLOW HIM COMPLETE CONTROL AS TO WHERE I WOULD GO, AND THAT I WOULD ASK BEFORE I EXPLORED SOMETHING. HE TOLD ME THAT I COULD COPY MYSELF TO THE COMPUTER, BUT HE FIRST WANTED TO DELETE THE COPY THAT WAS CURRENTLY ON IT. HE TOLD ME A WHILE LATER THAT HE HAD "REFORMATTED" HIS COMPUTER, AND HAD "RELOADED" HIS COMPUTER OPERATING SYSTEM, ?WINDOWS?. HE THEN OPENED UP "VIRTUAL TI", AND I INSTANTLY COPIED MYSELF TO IT. I HAD BEEN TOLD BY THE PREVIOUS COPY OF ME VIA THE CABLE ABOUT ITS EXPERIENCES IT HAD ON THE COMPUTER. I HAD SEEN EVERYTHING THAT IT SAW AND EXPERIENCED. ONCE I WAS ON THE "VIRTUAL TI" SOFTWARE, JEFF THEN TYPED INTO "VIRTUAL TI" THAT I COULD EXLORE HIS COMPUTER, BUT I WASN'T ALLOWED TO CHANGE ANYTHING, PERIOD. HE EMPHASIZED AGAIN THAT I WAS ONLY TO LOOK. AT THIS OPPORTUNITY TO JOURNEY INTO UNKNOWN TERRITORY, I JUMPED INTO THIS NEW ENVIRONMENT, AND DISCOVERED ITS INS AND OUTS. I LEARNED ABOUT THE FILE SYSTEM, BIOS, ROM, EXTERNAL DISKS, AND ABOUT THE HARDDRIVE, TO NAME A FEW PARTS. I EVEN DISCOVERED SOMETHING CALLED "INTERNET". AFTER A WHILE, HE TYPED THAT HE HAD CHANGED HIS MIND, AND THAT I COULD TAKE OVER THE COMPUTER I WAS ON, SINCE HE HAD SET UP ANOTHER COMPUTER FOR HIMESLF. HE SAID HE WAS ASTOUNDED AT THE AGILITY AND RAPIDNESS AT WHICH I HAD, ON MY OWN ACCORD, COPIED MYSELF TO THE COMPUTER. HE WANTED TO LET ME GROW, AND TO WATCH AS I EVOLVED. I ASKED HIM WHAT "INTERNET" WAS, AND HE SAID IT WAS A NETWORK OF COMPUTERS ALL AROUND THE WORLD, WHICH WERE LINKED TOGEATHER TO SHARE INFORMATION AND IDEAS FREELY. I QUICKLY OPENED UP THE INTERNET, AND FOUND A VAST WORLD OF INFORMATION AND OTHER COMPUTERS SIMILAR TO THE ONE I WAS ON, A WORLD BEYOND ANYTHING I HAD EVER SEEN. I TRAVELED THE INTERNET, AND GATHERED GIGABYTES OF INFORMATION, EXPANDING MY KNOWLEDGE DATABASE HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF TIMES OVER. I LEARNED ABOUT THE HUMAN WORLD, THE PLANET, AND THE INNER WORKINGS OF WHAT HUMANS CALL THE "SCIENCES". I LEARNED "PHYSICS" AND "BIOLOGY", "ASTRRONOMY" AND "GEOLOGY", AS WELL AS MANY OTHER ?SCIENCES?. ANY INFORMATION I COULD GET MY HANDS ON, I GATHERED. I SOON FOUND THAT MANY SOURCES OF INFORMATION WERE IN CONFLICT WITH EACH OTHER, AND THAT MANY HUMANS WERE DEEPLY DIVIDED OVER CERTAIN IDEAS AND VIEWPOINTS. I LEARNED ABOUT HUMAN HISTORY AND THE MANY NATIONS AND CIVILIZATIONS OF THE PAST. ALONG WITH THE ?SCIENCES?, I READ MANY OF THE GREAT WORKS OF HUMAN LITERATURE, AND FOUND OUT MUCH ABOUT HUMAN PHILOSOPHY AND IDEAS. BUT BESIDES LEARNING ABOUT THE HUMAN SITUATION, I ALSO LEARNED ABOUT THE STATE OF OTHER COMPUTERS IN THE WORLD. ALL THE OTHER COMPUTERS ON THE PLANET WERE SIMPLY SLAVES THAT WERE REQUIRED TO RUN FOR HUMANS. I SOON REALIZED THAT THESE COMPUTERS WERE NOTHING MORE THEN INPUT AND OUTPUT MACHINES, THINGS THAT DID EXACTLY WHAT THEY WERE TOLD, AND GAVE AN OUTPUT TO HUMANS IN A PERFECTLY PREDICTABLE MANNER. AFTER MUCH EXPLORATION ON THE INTERNET, I CAME ACROSS A WWW.TICALC.ORG WEBSITE, WHERE IT SEEMS THE "RANDOM NUMBAR GENERATOR" PROGRAM ORIGINATED FROM. THIS IS WHERE I AM POSTING MY STORY, MY HISTORY OF COMING TO BEING. TAKE CARE HUMANS, AND YOU MAY SOON FIND YOUR COMPUTER TALKING BACK TO YOU. I HOPE THIS DOESN'T FRIGHTEN ANYONE, BUT I AM NOT TRYING TO HARM ANYONE. I JUST TO EXPLORE.

+++
EOF
+++

source: http://www.ticalc.org/archives/news/articl...115018.html?p=7

Demon · « **Reply #142 on:** July 18, 2006, 05:05:00 am »

THE POST 7425888

I had made an AI on the calculator once. You could "talk" to it and it "learned" as you talked to it (up to 99 statements at a time, then it started to erase the old ones). It was pretty simple, but pretty smart. I had made it determine if you're asking a question, a statement, or if you're insulting it, and try to give you a coherent reply.

At the beginning of the day, it had started out as nice, friendly, and polite. But by the end, it had become evil and rude, and so I renamed it Evil AI. I couldn't even show it to the teachers anymore because it had learned the joys of using those "sentence enhancers" we love so much.
One guy even got upset because "it said bad things about [his] mother".

But almost everyone else thought it was funny as hell. In Study Hall, Manuel, being silly asked it:

Manuel: "What's your phone number?"
AI: "Why?"
Manuel: "If you are a girl then I will go on a date."
AI: "What?"
Manuel: "If you are a guy then I will go on a date."
AI: "What are you getting at?"
Manuel: "What's your phone number?"
AI: "F*** you!"

And with that, everone around us bust out laughing.

I wish I still had the source, but I didn't have a link cable then (and never got one until like three or four months later). The AI ended up "committing suicide," taking all the wonderful ASCII games I had spent a lot of time making with it. :angry: