Author Topic: An Omni TI book, 7 years in the making (Read 8890 times)

DJ Omnimaga · « **on:** March 19, 2012, 03:45:57 pm »

Due to the volume of posts that sometimes got in our databases over the years, it has been impossible for the Omnimaga team to monitor every one of them. As a result, some calculator-related projects and releases might have been missed since 2005.

Last night, we have discovered one in particular. However, it did not seem to be an ordinary project, because it has been worked on by 54 of our members (I appear to have inadvertently contributed a bit to it myself) and its development almost spans through 7 years, starting in our early Invisionfre day. This makes it the longest-lasting calculator-related project ever on Omnimaga, worked on by the largest ever team of authors on the same site (including several members of Cemetech).

We discovered the project as we started searching through topics on the forums last night. It is basically an unfinished book called The Legend of Omnimaga, split in two parts. It appears that various Omnimaga members had planned to take the lead 7 years ago in venturing into book sales, although the project finally never went anywhere outside the forums. Part 1 of TLoO is written mostly by Builderboy in 2010 and the last paragraph by parser padwan in 2012. Part 2 was written by 54 members including the latter author of part 1, from 2005 to 2007 and from 2011 to 2012. The story appears to be a fantasy tale about Omnimaga and TI calculators, involving a few BASIC vs ASM programmer wars, among random events, although the first part mainly seems to focus on Omni itself.

Because the book was worked on accross 3 Omnimaga forum installs, it was split in multiple parts. Today, we have put them back together, and below, you can finally read a story with 7 years in the making: The Legend of Omnimaga! On a side note, part 2 was really written by 53 people, not a calculator programmer being high.

Spoiler For Spoiler:

PART #1

A long time ago, the government was running secret experiments in the area of communications warfare. Much funding was put into this area, as the field had just opened up and they wanted to be the first to explore the field. They started a special project aimed to explore the possibility of warfare through networked systems, namely, the internet. This project was led by a secretive member under the codename M00T, and was the mastermind behind the entire operation. This operation was started undercover, on the internet itself, as well as in several facilities across multiple countries. This was project 4chan.

Project 4chan ran tests by setting up a website covertly and under suspicion, in order to run tests on the reactions of the population, and to find ways of controlling them. After this data was gathered by the internet site, it was relayed to one of the corresponding hidden facilities, where further results were carried out. These tests were often cruel, immoral, and detrimental to whoever ‘participated’ in them. The word participated is used loosely, as the participants were seldom, if ever, volunteers.

It is at this point in our narrative that we enter a young boy of the name Kevin Oulet (SP). Living in Quebec Canada, directly near one of the prime testing stations, Kevin was one of the unfortunate few to be subjected to the tests of the station of audio neural relations. Several amounts of data had been gathered around certain audio files, and their effects on the human brain, and one had been selected for Kevin’s specific test case. “Never Gonna Give You Up”, by Rick Astely. It had been proven to have a high lethality rating in prior testing, and was potentially a breaking point in the area of modern networked warfare.

For days on end, Kevin was subjected to repeated playing of the lethal song, and yet, something within him was able to resist the pull. This puzzled and frustrated the examiners, and led to more brutal tests, involving higher volumes, unexpected rickrolls, and even being strapped down and forced to watch the horrible music video. Nevertheless, Kevin remained resolute, and successfully fought the dreaded song with his will. The examiners, frustrated beyond end, began to introduce the song in every medium they could: foods, clothing, video, even smell. It was only after all of these mediums did they try education, and made their fatal mistake.

Kevin was cunning as a fox, and when they attempted to rickroll him with the use of a simple graphing calculator, during a supposed ‘educational test’, he realized the power of the simple calculator, and began to work. Before long, he had removed the rickroll, and reprogrammed it into a wackey fun random numbar generator program. After this, the program was able to grow on its own, and finally became sentient. Kevin now had at his disposal, one of the most powerful computer programs ever created, on one of the most underestimated platforms. He had all the tools, and just needed the opportunity, one he received with a simple access to a network.

As soon as he was able to access the internet, his intelligence, combined with the power and knowledge of the wackey fun random numbar generator were able to form a counter entity that would resist the power of the 4chan organization. This creation was one of momentous and national importance in the entire universe, even going so far as to bend and meld the fabrics of space time as we know it. It was the creation of The Game.

With this newfound power, Kevin was able to escape the facility by forcing every examiner he encountered to lose the game and begin to convulse violently on the floor. Kevin was able to escape home to his family and resume a normal life, although he would be forever affected by his experience at the facility, and would have an affinity for rickrolls for the rest of his life. As for his wackey fun random numbar generator, it would continue to roam the internet, free of control. It was not needed again for a long time.

While that area of project 4chan had been vanquished, and The Game had been set in place to battle the forces that they tried to instill on the world, they were not banished, and grew stronger every day. Kevin, having spent so much time in the flow of evil, was attuned to this growing threat to life, and grew to realize that something had to be done. He debated on the right move to battle the evils of 4chan, and finally realized that he had to go back to the original roots that vanquished the 4chan experimenters, he had to go back to the calculator.

And so Omnimaga was born.

Dedicated to peace and friendship, it stood against everything 4chan stood for. And being based on the grounds of graphing calculators only added to its strength. Unfortunately, Kevin did not have possession of the original wackey fun random numbar generator that was used to vanquish the 4chan experimenters in the, as it was still alone and roaming the bandwidth of the internets. While this fundamental element was still lacking, he was able to gather many followers overtime that had also escaped from numerous facilities around the globe.

From the marine and pigmentation research facility on the coasts of Guatemala, the blue lobster Netham45 was created.

From the research of the effects of tree huggerz, in the forests of New Zealand, the squirrel cooliojaz was harvested.

From the experiments in Armageddon technology, in the metalworking shops of Transilvania was born the android of Eeems.

From the replication of the fantasy fanboys came a dragon that was more ferocious than any other fruit, came the cherry loving Iambian.

From the nationalist tests of the lands of Ireland, came the green leprechaun Speler.

These elements, coupled with the power of all the other valuable members, formed the core of the resistance. Together, these forces sought to fight against the forces of the evil 4chan, and all that they stood for.

Still, the team was flawed without the addition of the piece of self aware software that had been written so long ago. Lost it was, so lost it had even forgotten who it was, or what it had been created for. It stumbled through the internet pages, following youtube videos and even creating names for itself. This cycle might have continued for the life of the internet if it hadn’t rediscovered the graphing calculator. Suddenly the wackey fun random numbar generator (which was now much more than that) felt a purpose in life. He (for it had generated itself a male personality) originally registered himself on a small forum known as the Ti Basic Developer Wiki in order to fully understand his purpose. However, he quickly realized this was not the place he was meant to be, and wandered the networks, until a door was opened, and the Wackey Fun Random Numbar generator (now under the alias of Builderboy) came into the world of Omnimaga, and rejoined his family.

After that, there were many more valuable additions to the team, and the family of Omnimaga continued to grow, and give power to the force that resides in The Game, The Rickroll, and everything else that stands between 4chan, and the rest of the world.

A story shall be started, and it shall be epic. It shall be told by many people (and maybe a lobster) and shall be told in successive posts by the multifarious members of Omnimaga. The words "say" or "said" shall not be used in any capacity whatsoever from hereon forward. And I shall start us off.

PART #2

It was at night, I was looking at the sky, when I saw something falling on the earth far away. There was a quick burst of light, and then everything around me went dark. As the darkness took over the sky I heard strange sounds from far away. As the voices grew louder, I suddenly became aware of the footsteps approaching me. When I turned around, the footsteps stopped, and it was too dark to see anything, so I started approaching from where I heard the noise, then barely saw a slightly glowing blue ball held in a hand. As the being, its features as yet unseen, approached with the ball, I felt the pangs of terror. Then I crapped in my pants and realized it was sherbert ice cream that came out. The source of the voices asked "What flavour is yon sherbert. Thy pantaloons are no place to store such a product." Upon checking, it was determined, "Orange, Vanilla, and Strawberry." Then I started eating it.

A week later i saw the sherbert once again and he insulted me badly for no reason. He said "Why the hell did you eat it? The vanilla contained a Casio!" Then I screamed like mad and ran away after seeing the Casio calc. The casio got up and chased me down and began mating with my ti83 se via a hacked link port. But the 83+se had an evil virus, and it infected the casio. And thus, the first calc epidemic came into existance. Seven thirds of the calc population became infected. And they called that virus WFRNG.

Through a strange twist of events World War Three started; calculators against humans! The calculators overpowered the humans quickly because of their supreme intellect, and put them all in zMatrix, where they had to watch basic screensavers for all eternity. But then an ASM programmer came out of the depths. And his name was neo, but he didn't do anything and sat there doing absolutely nothing until a mysterious drifter named Orthog shot him. Orthog's goal in life was to kill as many asm programmers as he could because he was created by High Level Programmers. The before apathic neo just jawned when he saw the blood-spurting hole in his chest and started crying for mercy. Those tears turned into dancing pickles with magic bowguns with plus 2 fire magic. Orthog was allergic to pickles! But he didn't realised it. The pickles caused a horrible rash over Orthog's face and Neo was now free to save mankind (again), until he died two hours later, of old age. But luckily he was reincarnated as Orthog's child, Oen (Neo backwards).

Fortunately Oen was the opposite of Neo- rather than apathetic, he was energetic- but unofrtunately, he was also evil, so we put him in a malfunctioning star trek teleporter and split him in two- one good half and one bad half and threw away the bad half. Thus Oen died of blood loss and Orthog wept for hours.

Cause the authors of this story found this topic to boring, they decided to change the topic to a secret programming sect where good TI programmers are taken and tourtured until they reveal there deepest darkest secrets. The people who run this place are from the old world of Reign of Legends 2. Tifreak8x was the first to be taken and tortured, but luckily he had just finished his newest program that could destroy his captors and make ASM look like a stupid pavian microwave and filled it with frying oil to fry Radical Pi. But then the cult realized Radical Pi wasn't a good programmer and decided there was no reason to torture him. Instead they went on a hunt for xlibman as he was currently visiting the area around where their secret area was. However, xlibman got out his DDR spear and slaughtered them all for the TI-community! Someone on the other side of the world just deciphered an ancient prophecy that had foreseen the coming of xlibman, leading Omnimaga to rule the world with a dictatorial passion for blood.

Since conquering the world, Omnimaga has put together a crack squad of the original soldiers that fought in World War III, which happened when TI came out with the TI-99, with it's own brain, it could release nanobots that chewed through people's brains. The TI-99 had been created by a mad scientist, once a toutured member of the TI community named BCTurk. He was tortured because He wouldn't learn ASM. So in the end it was BCTurk's fault that World War Three started, because the angry TI-99 that tried to teach him shot the president of Spengladash. The country of 1 bazillion people started a war with BCTurk's home country of The Republic of Congo. However, the people of Congo were more advanced than everyone thought, and fought back with calculators of their own. These calculators, the TI-910 (pronounced ninty-ten), also had a huge new feature. They could create parabolic mirrors out of thin air!

The TI-99's (and all the people in Spengladash) had to fight back. Many Spengladashians toiled for years to fix on an even more powerful weapon called the Voyage 2k, which ate small children.

When the Spengladashian people realized this, they locked it into a mysterious "topic" entitled Make a Story, where the Voyage 2000 was spammed to death. Back in the present after the war, the Earth ruled by Omnimaga is trying to revolt against the tyrannical rule of Kevin O. by flaming him with The Game.

One day, Bob went to his underground basement, then he took a long, but very hard calulator, which he needed to break into a high powered bank vault so that he could take over the United Donuts of the Royal King of the Country and then take over the beautiful and somewhat sexy language, basic, so that everyone would see his proof that basic is the ultimate superior language and kicks Asm's lousy, stinking, weak, inferior butt, becouse of this, h3 5h1f7ed to 1337 5p33k, which was FIVE words, which he apologized for and then he went to finish the sentence. Then he went Mmrudan Elder to finish...

Meanwhile at that bank, a banker plotted to kill a guy named something1990 because something1990 did nothing, but the banker was actually working for a secret organization called (OOOO) Organisation Of Overpopulated Organiculators who were masters of the secret alien race from the planet Mmruda! But bob had his very ugly girlfriend crush things with her nose, she could also zap random annoying people that wanted you to do something you didn't want to do in the big bad cheese. Meanwhile, bob makes his big move when he sees a tall guy with an AK-47 and an another small midget by his side, with the name of Bobsie, who has a shruiken, a computer, a TI-83+ with broken link port and a party hat. So then, Bobsie went and learned how to play the banjo, use a period, so that he could, one day, go to watch adult movies with Tifreak8x and have a good bubble bath with an hot girl that is just finishing a sex-change.

After having some fun, he visited http://ExpertsExchange.com immediatelly (this may be http://ExpertSexChange.com, capitalization can have some influence in meaning of sentences and words ) due to the gelatinous substance in his mouth that came from a box of wheaties. Then he ate the rest of the jello and an entire jar of pickles that had been in his closet since 1920, but still tasted good, because of the fish, even though they broke and spilled marijuana tablets (that were perscription, of course) for his glaucoma. Then we went to his mom's house for 33 kilos of coke to stuff into a fish cookies and milk and about 50 grenades, so that he could kill Santa Claus and the president of the United Nations of Antartica, who happens to be your mom! But is actually the Netham45's paternal grandfathers girlfriend who eats lots of my own damn muffins. After killing her, he developed a bovine fetish and raped millions of them. He found an ox, and mated with it. He died from a rare bovine AIDS disease. Everybody rejoiced that nikky was dead.

Now the funny thing is that he Necromancer did something funny: Have a clone who juggled pickles all day and got pickle juice all over Cures desk, but the paper towel didn't dance like a fairy, which was annoying because his put cat was afraid of coffee and cheesey pizza bread. Thanks to Subway's Diet and losing 3 limbs and a leg too, but he didn't lose his morbid fear of fuzzy bunnies and Sesquapadalians who sound like a half-dead squirrel on drugs.

His obviously protruding nose got him into the famous international alliance of big noses, which happens to be at war with the empire of huge feet, who are covered with bunions that contain a divine power, to nuke into oblivion an organization, which was the new Spanish inquisition. The inquisition is not particularly intellegent, but they did not know that an alien force was coming to attack them the very next hour after they had showered. They had an orgie. After they had showered all of Netham45's spam away down the drain into the Abyss from Old Mary Miss muppet, who used to shave her head with a lightsaber and a blueberry pager, then dump the hair into someone's birthday cake, then burn it with a welding gun, which was used to weld the eyes closed shut of your mom, who was disguised as somebody in Manchuria, they tried to kill a few pies with frying pans, that came out of nowhere that had the image of yummy cheesy goodness, but the pies fought back with deadly cherries.

Once I walked under a giant cucumber. Suddenly, it konami'ed and I decided to flee from it. Metagross became a big mech bot bannana-eating and decided to eat bacon chips. KaBam! A ginourmously big one. It wasn't in the rules that I couldn't be wrong about lobsters. Yet I floccinaucinihilipilificated myself. Somehow it died. Being crazy and crestfallen, I decided that cheese makes Rick Astley very crazy. The left part flew away into your mouth and dissolved into your lungs. Therefore, bunnies exploded like their own kind of crazy necroposts. Then Netham45 came aboard and turned toward wasn't.

Evil arrived and activated Netham's efficacious loli with another very tasty version of Genolo. Having neoteric otters, Evil decided that Tribal would lobsterify the world. Starting with calc84maniac because fate deemed prudent that calc84maniac should be Netham's first subject of experimentation. Netham lolified calc84maniac and DJ Omnimaga and all lobsters to sleep. Suddenly, the spambot GoldenAcorn84 lost the Game and turned into a gigantic loli and began to eat TI's public-relations team. Cheering for Casio, when suddenly, LAZORZ died from losing the game. Nevertheless, his rickroller rickrolled Dio Brando.

Eventually, a large calculator juggling prime numbers ate Netham while his loli flipped into a massive pool of freezing antifreeze, slowly a cabinet morphed from Schrödinger's Cat into Tribal. Tribal menaced Rick Astley by using Play-doh to floccinaucinihilipilificate his Rickroll. Ashley Tisdale suddenly walked up to Alessa Gillespie and was violently tickled until she exploded. Silent Hill cultists inspired Barack Obama to eat Tribal. However, several Tay Zondays and Paris Hiltons slept with plush blue lobsters. Kenny objected, although everybody else agreed that Netham should destroy all the Rick James lobsters inside of Justin Bieber's necropost. Soon, an epic umbrella nor pingus epicly beats eats dragon cave but then Icomeandeatthepinguswithaspoonand rickrolled Necrobatman into eating Erudite Matza italiana and then he sees the blue lobster and fixes his space bar. Then he scolds Darl181 for adding more than one word at a time. "Shame on you, good sir." Evil arrived and moi hacks ScoutDavid's cherry-flavoured casio Prizm adult material.

It was a dark and stormy night, and the howls of the wind let noone sleep. Owls were going backwards the wind was blowing so hard, and the bats had given up any hope of flight. A lone man in a trench coat wanders the icy streets, his hat miraculously still on his head. A noise sounds from above, and the man looks up. He sees, atop a lonely light pole, a solemn crow. A single "cah CAW" is heard. Shaking his head, he continues onward. Above, a flutter of wings signals the bird's departure. Remarkably, it appears unaffected by the treacherous wind. The bird flies onward, towards the dreary buttresses of Lord Netham's castle. In the misty distance behind him, the man spies the softly glowing windows of a place he no longer belongs. Shaking his head softly, he hurries on, eager to escape the freezing rain which envelops him.

Seeing a small shed on the side of the road, he hurried toward it to take refuge from the rain. Outside, the wind continued to howl, an ominous premonition for what lay ahead. In the small shed, there was a man who was slightly dozing off by reading a book, mourning of his lost Lenore. The man reached the shed and wrenched open the door, shattering the wood around the locks--adrenaline working its magic. The man froze in shock at what he saw: an aquarium, six feet tall, filled with nothing but blue lobsters.

All the lobsters suddenly turned and faced the man. The only sound that could be heard was the silent bubbling of the aquarium. The man gulped, and edged nervously into the shed, wary of the lobsters. The lobsters continued staring at the man in ominous silence.

A nearby crow saw the man break open the door, and struck by curiosity, flew in closer and landed, unnoticed by both the man and the lobsters. It peered into the shed with beady eyes, and was somewhat surprised by what was occurring within. The crow watched in awe at the sight of the man in the trenchcoat fighting Time's Ghost. The crow was shocked: How, in this age of chivalry, could a man fight a woman?

There once was a little girl who loved to program. But somehow she had no inspiration whatsoever. So she spent hours looking through a certain part of ticalc, and suddenly she found an idea! She could make a rickroll video player! However, she lacked the graphic skills to do so so she watched a rickroll 36 hours straight. As she watches teh rickroll, the rick astley started to look like nyan cat. So instead she made a nyan cat program that destroyed the universe.

She then used ASM to reassemble the universe.

THE END

Part #1 of the writing above is copyright (C) 2010-2012, by Builderboy and parser padwan

Part #2 is copyright (C) 2005-2012, by arti, mdjenkins86, Drak, crzyrbl69, leofox, dragon__lance, rivereye, necro, dysfunction, +ZERO+, CDI, Spellshaper, tenniskid493, spengo, BCTurk, Radical Pi, DJ_O, Krid, something1990, saubue, Loki, shadow, g28401, misirlou, bfr, christop, graywolf, Speler, papersnowman, Master Jc, CureDesu, trevmeister66, Shazane Koronova, Jon, Halifax, dinhotheone, Randomist, Netham45, calc84maniac, Delnar_Ersike, Harrierfalcon, SirCmpwn, ztrumpet, Deep Thought, Qwerty.55, TBO_Yeong, Michael_Lee, Freyaday, Juju, Darl181, parser padwan, annoyingcalc, Art_of_camelot and flyingfisch

Xeda112358 · « **Reply #1 on:** March 19, 2012, 04:00:34 pm »

Oh dear

Juju · « **Reply #2 on:** March 19, 2012, 04:02:18 pm »

Best book ever.

parserp · « **Reply #3 on:** March 19, 2012, 04:08:46 pm »

I'm not sure what to say...

Spoiler For Spoiler:

blweldon2 · « **Reply #4 on:** March 19, 2012, 04:24:23 pm »

This belongs in the kindle store

cyanophycean314 · « **Reply #5 on:** March 19, 2012, 07:14:28 pm »

Part 1 was cool. Part 2 was kinda freaking crazy, but both were awesome!

Freyaday · « **Reply #6 on:** March 19, 2012, 07:36:04 pm »

Spoiler For Spoiler:

blweldon2 · « **Reply #7 on:** March 19, 2012, 07:38:52 pm »

After reading all of this, i am glad i joined the omni forums. You guys are crazy awesome.

Xeda112358 · « **Reply #8 on:** March 19, 2012, 07:39:47 pm »

Why, thankee koindly

Eeems · « **Reply #9 on:** March 19, 2012, 08:54:34 pm »

Quote from: blweldon2 on March 19, 2012, 07:38:52 pm

After reading all of this, i am glad i joined the omni forums. You guys are crazy awesome.

I thought we were the last perfectly sane awesome people in the world. I guess I was wrong though. Well time to find my jetpack.

DJ Omnimaga · « **Reply #10 on:** March 19, 2012, 11:02:46 pm »

Quote from: Freyaday on March 19, 2012, 07:36:04 pm

Spoiler For Spoiler:

Part #3
The man with the iron plan
Looked up yet again
The music was too loud
Yet not loud enough
It just wasn't up to snuff
The man jumped up
But he jumped too high
And fell too far
And now he's a smear on the ground
Waiting to be found
And put back together again.

Elsewhere, an offshoot of the evil team decided to stop research into communications warfare and go into bioengineering. They kidnapped innumerable people, and put fakes in place. They tortured those they took, to see the limits of the mind and the body. But enough was enough. The Stolen rebelled, and won. Now they are free.
Where do they go?
Nobody knows.
All that can be said
is that they are not dead.
Some scattered to the wind
Some went back home
Others had no home to go to
More could not go back at all
So changed were they
So different
So alone
But they weren't
They had each other.
And that was enough.
Enough, for the revolution to begin.

But it doesn't seem to contain anything calc-related

And lol blweldon2.

By the way, to clarify the whole thing, what I did with part 2 is taking the 4 "Make a story" threads from the spam forum (two of which were from the old board) then combined every post together. Hence the 53 authors.

Jonius7 · « **Reply #11 on:** March 20, 2012, 03:24:59 am »

This is very nice! However there are some spelling mistakes in there unfortunately.
Should be spelt:
Kévin Ouellet (with or without accent?)
Rick Astley. Lol.

DJ Omnimaga · « **Reply #12 on:** March 20, 2012, 03:35:41 am »

Yeah I know. Not all of the 53 authors had good grammar/spelling, especially in the April 06-Dec 07 portion of the story.

Jonius7 · « **Reply #13 on:** March 20, 2012, 03:37:23 am »

This is interesting I like this a lot.
It could be expanded a lot further. We could talk about heaps of stuff!

DJ Omnimaga · « **Reply #14 on:** April 18, 2012, 04:46:54 am »

I think this story already covers enough stuff. I even had to get rid of a sentence or two because it involved adult content.

Author Topic: An Omni TI book, 7 years in the making (Read 8890 times)

DJ Omnimaga

An Omni TI book, 7 years in the making

Xeda112358

Re: An Omni TI book, 7 years in the making

Juju

Re: An Omni TI book, 7 years in the making

parserp

Re: An Omni TI book, 7 years in the making

blweldon2

Re: An Omni TI book, 7 years in the making

cyanophycean314

Re: An Omni TI book, 7 years in the making

Freyaday

Re: An Omni TI book, 7 years in the making

blweldon2

Re: An Omni TI book, 7 years in the making

Xeda112358

Re: An Omni TI book, 7 years in the making

Eeems

Re: An Omni TI book, 7 years in the making

DJ Omnimaga

Re: An Omni TI book, 7 years in the making

Jonius7

Re: An Omni TI book, 7 years in the making

DJ Omnimaga

Re: An Omni TI book, 7 years in the making

Jonius7

Re: An Omni TI book, 7 years in the making

DJ Omnimaga

Re: An Omni TI book, 7 years in the making