Our founder, DJ Omnimaga, has reached a new milestone for Omnimaga.
Today, on Christmas Eve, he has reached a post count of 31337.
Due to the 1337ness of this post count, we have proclaimed this day, December 24, Omnimas, a celebration of the one true religion, Omnimagism.  We on the holy summit of Mt. IRC have received the Ten Commandments of Omnimagism, and the Holy Calculator.

1.  Netham is the Grand Lobster. Thou shalt not have any lobsters before He.
2.  Thou shalt not make anything in place of thy Holy Calculator.
3.  Thou shalt not use the name of the Grand Lobster, nor the name of the Holy Calculator in vain.
4.  Remember Omnimas, and keep it holy.  Also spend at least an hour a day programming and worshiping the Holy Calculator.
5.  Honor thy collection of calculators, for they were made in the image of the Holy Calculator.
6.  Thou shalt not brick nor crash thy calculators, and if one does, one must sacrifice the program one left in the RAM as a repayment.  If the crash is more evil, some programs from the archive shall be taken as well.
7.  Thou shalt not be with another person's calculator, for that is unclean.
8.  Thou shalt not steal another's calculator, nor post their programs in thy name.
9.  Thou shalt not lie to the calculator, nor bear false witness to the Grand Lobster.
10.  Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's calculator.
9001. The game

Follow these commandments, and thou shall rise from the dangerous world of RAM to the slightly more guarded world of ROM.  If thou breaks a commandment, thou only need to repent, and sacrifice thy programs in thy RAM.

Here, fixed that for you.
Also, I like your new title DJ. I was wondering where it came from.