Pics or it didn't happen.

And before anyone says anything else. Are you okay?

Glad to hear you are alright!

Is your Nspire ok, or is it destroyed too?

yikes! Holy crap man...

now it is a whodunit

the nspire, the battery, the emu, or ndless

I think it was just the battery.  If it was any of the other three, I am sure this would have happened earlier.

If it was an internal short, you probably don't have a calculator anymore. It takes a lot of heat to break the battery compartment as compared to what the electronics can handle. Although, if TI was smart, they had temperature shutoff circuits installed into the processor to prevent overheating. Not much chance of that, though.

If it was an intracell short, then you may or may not have a calculator depending on exactly what happened.

If it was software, then you almost certainly don't have a calculator. Software is notoriously bad at regulating batteries.

EDIT: You need an excuse to buy a Prizm? 

Dude, get the sheets cleaned anyway. Makes your mom happy, and you don't have to worry about battery acid!  Seriously, I think there is a defect with the batteries.  Of course, if it is bricked, then by all means din't get rid of it!  Write your own os and have it just be a test device.

If it was an internal short, you probably don't have a calculator anymore. It takes a lot of heat to break the battery compartment as compared to what the electronics can handle. Although, if TI was smart, they had temperature shutoff circuits installed into the processor to prevent overheating. Not much chance of that, though.

If it was an intracell short, then you may or may not have a calculator depending on exactly what happened.

If it was software, then you almost certainly don't have a calculator. Software is notoriously bad at regulating batteries.

Ah, I was probably a bit ambiguous there. I was thinking of a short internal to the cell itself, though I don't know whether that's actually common with alkaline cells (I've never heard of it, personally). It sometimes happens with rechargeables, though I think it's rare for the internal short to actually draw enough current to generate that much heat and an explosion (usually, the symptom is simply a cell that completely drains itself in a matter of hours or days after a full charge, even if not used—I have a few worn-out NiMH cells that exhibit this condition).

It seems unlikely, but maybe somehow a battery terminal or something shorted the terminals of that one cell together. I think I've heard of a rare case or two before of a poorly-designed battery compartment damaging the insulation on the cell and causing this, leading to a product recall.

Although I've never seen it happen firsthand, one thing I've heard of quite frequently over the years are TI calculators that seem to drain batteries in an excessively short period of time for no apparent reason. I guess somehow something in the calculator circuitry develops a defect that draws excessive current from the batteries in these cases.