Here's two
A teacher told Tiny Tim to recite the alphabet, and so he started.
"a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z" he recited.
The teacher, listening carefully asked him where is the letter p, tim?
and he answered
An old man walked into a tax collector's office with a lawyer. The lawyer told the tax collector not to bet with him, but as soon as he said that, the old man said that he wanted to bet 1.5 grand that he could bite his eye. The tax collector agreed, then the old man took out his glass eye, and bit it. A couple minutes later, the old man said that he bets double what he made that he could bite his other eye. The tax collector said ok, since he thought that the old man couldn't have 2 glass eyes and still see. The old man took out his dentures and bit his good eye. The tax collector, by now has lost 4.5 grand to betting. A couple more minutes after that, the old man said that he could bet 10 times what he earned (45 grand) to stand 10 feet away from the trash can, and pee in to it with out missing a single drop on his desk. The tax collector was sure that he couldn't do it, so he agreed. The old man dropped his pants, peed, but didn't get a single drop in to the trash can, and peed all over the tax collector's desk. The tax collector, extremely excited, saw the lawyer crying and awestruck. So, he asked him why and the lawyer said....
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That sounds brilliant, as in really, really useful.