Because we haven't.

Why is my computer running Windows?

Another Project Update!!!
The roles of  7 and 9 have changed:

7 - Ignores everything until the next 7. (Could allow for comments?)
9 - Repeats the command before it once.

And a new command has been added:
x - quits the program, but not the interpreter.
Here's the source:
#include <iostream>
#include <string>
#include <stdlib.h>
#include <windows.h>
using namespace std;
int loopstart = 0;
int main()
{
    cout << "Spyrodecimal Interpreter\nBy Spyro543 -- Type 'q' to exit\n------------------------\n";
    string prgm;
    signed int mem = 0;
    int pos = 0;
    char data;
    bool ignore = false;
    bool repeat = false;
    while (true)
    {
        cout << ">>> ";
        cin >> prgm;
        for (int i=0;i < prgm.length();i++)
        {
            data = prgm[i];
            if (ignore==true)
            {
                if (data=='7')
                {
                    ignore = false;
                }
            }
            else
            {
                switch (data)
                {
                    case '0':
                    Sleep(100);
                    break;
                    case '1':
                    if (prgm[i+1]=='n') cout << mem;
                    else cout << (char)mem;
                    break;
                    case '2':
                    mem++;
                    break;
                    case '3':
                    mem--;
                    break;
                    case '4':
                    char inp;
                    mem = 0;
                    cin >> inp;
                    mem = (int)inp;
                    break;
                    case '5':
                    cout << "\n";
                    break;
                    case '6':
                    mem = rand() % 256 + 1;
                    break;
                    case '7':
                    ignore = true;
                    break;
                    case '8':
                    mem = 0;
                    break;
                    case '9':
                    if (repeat==false)
                    {
                        i--;
                        repeat = true;
                    }
                    else if (repeat==true)
                    {
                        repeat = false;
                    }
                    break;
                    case 'q':
                    return 0;
                    break;
                    case 'n':
                    break;
                    case 'x':
                    goto end;
                    break;
                    default:
                    break;
                }
            }
        }
        end:
        cout << "\nProgram finished.\n";
    }
}
Attached are the source file and executable.

I have no friends or family that program. :'(

My dad used to code in BASIC

First off, esolang is short for esoteric programming language.
Spyrodecimal is an esolang where all the commands are numbers.

Here are all the commands:

0 - Pauses the program for 1/10 second.
1 - Prints the ASCII equivalent of the number in memory.
n - Prints the actual number in memory.
2 - Increases the number in memory.
3 - Decreases the number in memory.
4 - Gets one character of input, and stores it in memory.
5 - Prints a new line.
6 - Generates a random number between 1 and 256 and stores it in memory.
7 - Moves the program reader back for the amount in memory. For example, if 5 is in memory, it will move back 5 spaces.
8 - Erases the memory.
9 - Same as 7, except moves the reader forward instead of backward.
q - Quits the interpreter.
x - quits the program, but not the interpreter.
s - Stores the current memory value into one of six variables (a, b, c, d, e, f). Variables are not affected by 8. Syntax (s<var> example: sa)
r - Recalls the value stored into one of six variables (a, b, c, d, e, f) and stores it in memory. Syntax (r<var> example: ra)

I'm currently working on the interpreter (in C++).
Any ideas are welcome!

how about "Undefined Line"? I just thought it up randomly

Oh wow, that looks cool! I do like that keyboard layout better than the current layout.

Heh, I do all my pixel art in Paint (and with a trackball mouse ) too!