gay bashing really...  oh well.  (depends on where you live, may sound different. In general Indiana the really is said incredulously)

I foresee a new problem.  Hating on haters.

I wasn't here when it happened so I can't really tell, but nonetheless, gay bashing or not, you offended people, which is unacceptable. So yeah. Bye.

gay bashing really...  oh well.  (depends on where you live, may sound different. In general Indiana the really is said incredulously)

I foresee a new problem.  Hating on haters.

^This

We should still be firm with people who break the rules, but not be overly harsh and make people want to leave here forever, that way, if they can decide if they want to change and come back. A while ago, there was a member who was making anti-American comments, and the matter was dealt with very calm and professionally,  resulting in a one week ban for him, and he came back and is a well respected member and one of the top posters today.

My opinion?  Don't even tell your view on gay marriage.  Or anything else which is very controversial or has the possibility to hurt others.  Nothing bad will happen to you then, and nothing bad will happen to anything else.  While you may think you have free speech, you actually rarely do, and even when you do no one *cares* if you think gay marriage is right or wrong; this isn't a morality/politics forum, trust me, no one *cares*.  They will care though if you make the rivals to your opinion upset (and they won't care in a good way); hence follow these rules to be fine:

1: Don't talk about controversial topics in a way that shows how you feel about it.
2: Don't talk about controversial topics that will lead to debates and then to arguments that will hurt others.
3: Don't belittle others; you're not them, they're not you.  They'll have different opinions and they should be respected.
4: When in doubt just don't talk about controversial topics at all.  Switch the IRC subject to something productive.

These are Ashbad's ingredients to make everyone happy, reduce fights, and have a loving, friendly, community for people of all races, sexes, sexual orientations and general sexualities, lifestyles, levels of contributions to the site, levels of expertise in programming, etc.  I call it "The Happy Pasta Sauce Mix" -- and boy does it taste good.

I also realized, by reacting harshly to incidents, the rule breaker will just be inclined to break more rules, further alienating them from the community and making it far more likely they will leave for good.

Exactly my point on why we should not respond to bashing with more bashing. That will just lead the person to start more drama.

1: Don't talk about controversial topics in a way that shows how you feel about it.

I'd weaken that to "Don't talk about controversial topics in a way that strongly criticizes another's views on it."

2: Don't talk about controversial topics that will lead to debates and then to arguments that will hurt others.

There's nothing IMO wrong with debates so long as they are civil. As soon as they leave civility, though, the debate should be immediately dropped.

3: Don't belittle others; you're not them, they're not you.  They'll have different opinions and they should be respected.

I agree about not belittling others. The antecedent of the second "they" in the second sentence is ambiguous (Does it refer to "others" or to "opinions"?), by the way; I'd say to respect others as long as they deserve it (If uncertain, err toward respect), and similarly for opinions, though there are many more opinions unworthy of respect. (Again, do err toward respect.)

4: When in doubt just don't talk about controversial topics at all.  Switch the IRC subject to something productive.

IRC? Productive? More seriously, I'd say just to move away immediately in case of problems. But don't bring up a topic that you aren't prepared to be reasonable and calm about it. Similarly, don't join in if you can't be reasonable and calm about it.
I refrain from saying anything other than this sentence about jkag.

I don't know how it was said; I'd find the statement "I believe that gay marriage is morally wrong" to be fine, although discussion might be forced to end after a few replies. Something like "Gay people are sinners" is more directly against the implicated people, and should not be said, though it might, with very careful guidance, be able to lead to something better. (And obviously the Westboro Baptist Church's "God hates fags" is an "apologize or else insta-ban" sort of thing.)